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IELTS WRITING CONTEST - WEEK 1

Discussion in 'IELTS WRITING CONTEST - IWC' started by Anh Ngữ ZIM, Jul 10, 2016.

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  1. Anh Ngữ ZIM

    Anh Ngữ ZIM Master Staff Member

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    Tham khảo

    Overall: 4.5

    TR: 5.0

    Met the basic requirements of the essay, but you should try to develop your ideas more

    CC: 4.0

    Some sentences are not logically linked

    Words are often misused due to the lack of understanding of the words and make the sentences as well as the paragraph confusing

    LR: 4.0

    Poor choices of words and have little idea of how to use them

    GRA: 4.5

    Many grammatical mistakes and some linking words are not used properly

    Spelling mistakes!
     

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  2. Anh Ngữ ZIM

    Anh Ngữ ZIM Master Staff Member

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    Tham khảo

    Overall: 6.0

    TR: 6.0

    Met the requirements of the essay, ideas are well-arranged, however you did not make it easy to understand

    CC: 5.0

    Well rounded ideas and logical arrangement, although some sentences might be a bit confusing because you used unusual words without profoundly understanding their meanings

    LR: 6.0

    Good choice of words, but some might not have been used properly, leading to confusion

    GRA: 6.0

    Some grammatical mistakes, verbs and words at some places aren’t used properly

    Spelling mistakes
     

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  3. Anh Ngữ ZIM

    Anh Ngữ ZIM Master Staff Member

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    Tham khảo

    OVERALL: 5.5

    TR 5.5

    Good structure!

    Your ideas are hard to grasp since you used a lot of unusual words, making your sentences rather unnatural

    CC 5.5

    Too many words don’t make sense in some sentences

    Linking words used effectively

    LR 5.5

    Lots of unusual words are found in your essay, but they make your essay rather awkward than impressive

    GRA 6.0

    Your grammar is okay, although need to work on paraphrasing your sentences
     

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  4. Anh Ngữ ZIM

    Anh Ngữ ZIM Master Staff Member

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    Tham khảo

    OVERALL: 6.0

    TR 6.0

    The structure meets the scoring criteria, ideas are logical, however you should include a topic sentence at the beginning of para 2

    CC 6.0

    Some words are still misused, but overall, you have fluency in your illustration. Start writing some more complex sentences for higher band-score

    LR 7.0

    Good!


    GRA 6.0

    There are still some grammatical mistakes, minor ones

    Keep some of your sentences shorter and more precise
     

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  5. Anh Ngữ ZIM

    Anh Ngữ ZIM Master Staff Member

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    Tham khảo

    Overall: 5.5

    TR: 5.5

    Met the basic requirements of the essay, however, too long

    Logically arranged and well-rounded ideas

    CC: 6.0

    Ideas are well developed, however some ideas still seem awkward

    LR: 5.0

    Some words are still misused

    GRA: 6.0

    Proper use of verbs and linking words

    A few grammatical mistakes

    Spelling mistakes
     

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  6. Anh Ngữ ZIM

    Anh Ngữ ZIM Master Staff Member

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    Tham khảo

    OVERALL: 4.0

    TR 3.0

    Too many words

    Your essay doesn’t asnwer the questions being asked

    The structure is not clear

    CC 3.0

    Coherent essay, however, you did not answer the questions asked

    LR 4.0

    Too many explanations and examples, no ideas are clearly stated

    GRA 6.0

    Good grammar
     

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  7. Anh Ngữ ZIM

    Anh Ngữ ZIM Master Staff Member

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    Tham khảo

    Overall: 3.5

    TR: 3.0

    The essay requires the causes and effect of the phenomenon and NOT the solutions to the problem. Your third paragraph does not meet the criteria and shall not be scored.

    CC: 3.0

    Poor ideas and bad choices of words make the essay hard to understand

    Sentences are hard to understand and are not logically linked

    L.R: 4.0

    Words are not properly used

    Paraphrased sentences are hard to understand and confusing

    GRA: 4.0

    Many grammatical mistakes

    Linking words and verbs are not used correctly, creating confusion
     

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  8. td7122004

    td7122004 Master

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    Tham khảo

    tuần đầu k châm chước chấm hết hả ad buồn ghê :(
     

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  9. Anh Ngữ ZIM

    Anh Ngữ ZIM Master Staff Member

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    Tham khảo

    Vì cuộc thi quy định là chỉ chấm bài nộp hợp lên nên các bạn thông cảm nha :D các post khác để ad comment dần
     

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  10. Belcooo

    Belcooo Master

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    Tham khảo

    In recent years, using air-conditioner systems become more common in Vietnam. It has raised questions of what is the impact of this trend to electricity grids and what reasons is. This essay will elaborate about mentioned questions.
    First and foremost, it would be helpful to mention about huge effects of using air-conditioners to the grids. Industrialization will increase in all over the world and it would consume a large amount of electric to operate factories. For example, steel mills or industrial parks require big power stations to supply a large amount of electric in everyday. Besides that, operating air-conditioner systems in summer would add extra loads to this overloading grids. In addition, electricity systems in Vietnam is old, therefore, increasing of extra loads, such as this kind of machine, would negative impact to the existing systems.
    Furthermore, it would help to discuss about problems following these effects. It would threaten stabilization of nation's grids as well as economy systems when the electric systems would be broken down. The impacts would be a strong warning to not only people are in charge of managing the grids but also others who are using electric machines. As a result, government would be able to pour money into improve existing systems or build new ones. It would enforce quality of nation's grids with liable technology and management systems and increase efficiency of operating and using electricity.
    To sum up, using air-conditioners would create pressure to electricity systems. There is requirement to improve the efficiency of the grids as well as produce energy saving machines. By that way, government could build better living environment for a better society.
     

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