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IELTS WRITING CONTEST - WEEK 16

Discussion in 'IELTS WRITING CONTEST - IWC' started by Hoàng ZIM, Nov 6, 2016.

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  1. td7122004

    td7122004 Master

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    Tham khảo

    In recent days, to examine students, there are many different methods to be applied such as multiple-choice or oral examination, belong with traditional written type. Although writing holds an important role in examination, it is not the best way to evaluate how intelligent a person is.

    On the one hand, brilliance comes from a quick decision, not a long process. Someone is called intelligent because of his or her flash reaction to questions or problems. In contrast, writing focus more on patient and careful character by examine how students can express their ideas and illustrate them in a paper in a period of time. Therefore it is unsuitable to evaluate the intelligence. Furthermore, there are only a few questions can be asked in a writing test due to lack of time and the length of essays, while intelligence must be shown in diverse situations which requires many different questions in the same time.

    On the other hand, writing seems not to fit with children who have potential about intelligence but study a little about writing. Indeed, kids tend to reveal their abilities including brilliance from very young ages, but they can only write successfully in primary school. In addition, potential growth of children which is unpredictable is harder to evaluate. Hence, we cannot use a simple sentence which looks too easy to evaluate directly a child that is brilliant or not.

    To conclude, although I do not refuse the role of writing, in terms of intelligence, it is not the most effective method. Multiple-choice and oral examination seem to be better to be used. However, I believe in the future writing can be used as a choice to IQ test, if the writing way can be changed.

    (289 words)
     

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  2. Hoàng ZIM

    Hoàng ZIM Master Staff Member

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    Tham khảo

    Overall: 6.0

    TR: 6.0

    The structure to your essay is well-constructed

    Overall, you have good ideas, but they aren’t well-developed with your supporting sentences, some sentences are confusing and do not contribute to the essay

    CC: 6.0

    There are some misused words and phrases:

    This is particularly the case in lower age groups where young children can be affected negatively by stress and under-perform in exams

    A further point is that often continuous assessment can allow teachers to reward students who work hard, but who may be less able and not do well in more formal testing.

    A possible compromise would be to use both forms of testing together, allowing teachers to reward both ability and hard work.

    LR: 6.0

    You have an okay range of vocabulary relating to the topic

    You need more specific examples to make your essay more convincing

    You need to use more collocation relating to the topic

    GRA: 6.0

    Very few grammatical mistakes can be found in the essay
     

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  3. Hoàng ZIM

    Hoàng ZIM Master Staff Member

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    Tham khảo

    Overall: 5.5

    TR: 6.0

    The structure to your essay is well-constructed

    Overall, you have good ideas, but you don’t seem to illustrate them clear enough in your essay

    CC: 5.0

    There are some misused words and phrases:

    For a long time, written tests have been an indispensable part in virtually every education systems

    Furthermore, written examinations usually make test takers extremely nervous. Taking a test put students under a lot of pressure and it might shut them down completely

    Needless to say, the pressure of tests affects greatly to their outcomes and makes it extremely unreliable.

    LR: 5.0

    You have an okay range of vocabulary relating to the topic

    Some unusual words which are wrongly used in this essay

    You need more specific examples to make your essay more convincing

    You need to use more collocation relating to the topic

    GRA: 6.0

    Very few grammatical mistakes can be found in the essay
     

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  4. Hoàng ZIM

    Hoàng ZIM Master Staff Member

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    Tham khảo

    Overall: 5.0

    TR: 5.0

    The essay is over-length (342 words), you should not write over 320 words for this essay

    The structure of your essay is well-constructed

    Overall, you have good ideas, but you don’t seem to illustrate them clear enough in your essay

    CC: 4.0

    There are some misused words and phrases:

    Recent years have witnesses a wide variety of kinds with regard to examination, which has aroused a heated debate of whether the written exams in the traditional way have taken the most powerful effect on showing individual's intelligence or not.

    I am a great supporter of the former for the following reasons as follows.

    Conspicuously, only when doing the tests do man express the most important thing in his imagination at the same time

    A person maintains his mental ability only based on what he is born with genetically, contributing to the fact that the examiners can assess one's intelligent quotient that he is born with
    Another point to note is that thinking and writing at the same time are the best way to test one's smarts and brains in their genetics through the test

    Paradoxically, reading test can also test the study or the great knowledge that the written test do not take.

    LR: 5.0

    You have an okay range of vocabulary relating to the topic

    Some unusual words which are wrongly used in this essay

    You need more specific examples to make your essay more convincing

    You need to use more collocation relating to the topic

    GRA: 6.0

    There are some grammatical mistakes in the essay
     

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  5. Hoàng ZIM

    Hoàng ZIM Master Staff Member

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    Tham khảo

    Overall: 4.5

    TR: 4.0

    Your essay is poorly constructed, your ideas should be illustrated more objectively

    Your ideas are not well-developed and very confusing

    You should comment about both methods given in the question

    CC: 4.0

    There are some misused words and phrases:

    Firstly, when I join the traditional written exam, I must be confident about my intelligence, about my knowledge will meet the requirement of the examination

    when I take part in the IELTS writing contest-week 16, I assume my writing skill will be more or less meet the examination
    If I am a fool, I can not get any type of ideas about this
    .
    After that, I build a mind-map about my ideas, this map will help to build my ideas become more clearly, more smoothly

    This type of skill require me to understand my writing style to access the memory of learning English and using the right structure for each type of writing.

    LR: 5.0

    You have an okay range of vocabulary relating to the topic

    Some unusual words which are wrongly used in this essay

    You need to use more collocation relating to the topic

    GRA: 5.0

    There are some grammatical mistakes in the essay
     

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  6. Hoàng ZIM

    Hoàng ZIM Master Staff Member

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    Tham khảo

    Overall: 5.0

    TR: 5.0

    The structure of your essay in well-constructed

    The essay is under-length ( 242 words), a minimum of 250 words is required

    Overall, you have good ideas, but you don’t seem to illustrate them clear enough in your essay

    CC: 5.0

    There are some misused words and phrases:

    There has been increasing interest in doing tests by writing as usual

    And hence, the effect of this method in classifying cleverness of student is still in people's mind

    As a matter of fact, the majority of graduates in Vietnam has been viewed as unskilled labors for the reasons, though their intelligence is immeasurable

    By taking written exams, their IQ number cannot be reflect accurately, meanwhile, the others who may have better skills of arranging words right in their places in minds though bad practitioners can be mistakenly appreciated.

    LR: 5.0

    You have an okay range of vocabulary relating to the topic

    Some unusual words which are wrongly used in this essay

    You need more specific examples to make your essay more convincing

    You need to use more collocation relating to the topic

    GRA: 6.0

    There are still some grammatical mistakes in the essay
     

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  7. Hoàng ZIM

    Hoàng ZIM Master Staff Member

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    Tham khảo

    Overall: 5.0

    TR: 5.5

    The structure of your essay is well-constructed

    Overall, you have good ideas, but you don’t seem to illustrate them clear enough in your essay

    CC: 5.0

    There are some misused words and phrases:

    It is argued that, judging intelligence by traditional written is the most efficient way

    Writing skill Is a minor aspect in total verbal skills, which including, writing, reading and speaking

    Thus, using only traditional written exam is lacking to see people’s cleverness in verbal skill

    Another clearly example is the IELTS test, which is the test to see how fluently that people can use English, this include not only writing skills but also reading, listening, speaking skills.
    . Firstly, good writer is may not a good logical or mathematical people, therefore, to say the writer’s intellectual is more than others is not an acceptable way

    This test includes structure guesting, calculation and verbal skills.

    LR: 5.0

    You have an okay range of vocabulary relating to the topic

    Some unusual words which are wrongly used in this essay

    You need to use more collocation relating to the topic

    GRA: 5.0

    There are still many grammatical mistakes in the essay
     

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  8. Hoàng ZIM

    Hoàng ZIM Master Staff Member

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    Tham khảo

    Overall: 5.0

    TR: 5.0

    The structure to your essay is well-constructed

    The essay is over-length ( 343 words) , you should not write over 320

    The ideas given are suitable for the topic, however, your fluency needs to be worked on more

    CC: 5.0

    There are some misused words and pharses:

    In the forthcoming university entrance examination, there has been confirmation of the change in the way Maths paper will be redesigned

    This real fact poses an opposing opinion that traditional written exams may assess students’ intelligence the most effectively

    First and foremost, creativity enhancement may be what I put my priority in when it comes to the old testing method

    Sitting in traditional written exams, students are required to elaborate their whole solution onto answer sheet.

    In order to accomplish the test in allotted amount of time, there is a desperate need for pupils to find not only correct but also concise, mind-challenging solutions to maths problems taken as a salient example.

    This results in the optimum avoidance of stroke-of-luck situation.

    LR: 5.0

    You have an okay range of vocabulary relating to the topic

    Some unusual words which are wrongly used in this essay

    You need more specific examples to make your essay more convincing

    You need to use more collocation relating to the topic

    GRA: 6.0

    There are some grammatical mistakes in the essay
     

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  9. Hoàng ZIM

    Hoàng ZIM Master Staff Member

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    Tham khảo

    Overall: 5.5

    TR: 6.0

    The structure of the essay is well-constructed

    The ideas given are suitable for the topic, however, your fluency needs to be worked on more

    CC: 5.0

    There are some misused words and phrases in the essay:

    It is clearly to see that students who are good at music and art often cannot make any difference to others because those subjects cannot be tested on written exams.
    Another reason is that individuals have their own advantages which help them to receive new information such as foreign languages, chemistry formulas and so on

    For example, most of students find that it is easier to write down a formula form what they have learned by heart and solve an equation

    LR: 5.0

    You have an okay range of vocabulary relating to the topic

    Some unusual words which are wrongly used in this essay

    You need more specific examples to make your essay more convincing

    You need to use more collocation relating to the topic

    GRA: 6.0

    There are some grammatical mistakes in the essay
     

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  10. Hoàng ZIM

    Hoàng ZIM Master Staff Member

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    Tham khảo

    Overall: 5.5

    TR: 6.0

    The structure of your essay is well-constructed

    Overall, you have good ideas, but they aren’t well-developed with your supporting sentences

    CC: 5.0

    There are some misused words and phrases:

    The high school examinations, debates have fiercely broken out whether this kind of assessment should be ruled out

    Honestly, I whole-heartedly believe that the traditional written test must be compulsory task one performs when graduating for some reasons as follows.


    Also, a quizzing test is regarded as luck of the draw which means you can choose whatever answers that you feel right and maybe it’s the correct answer.

    When taking a written test, students must write down the answer in a clear and coherent way to get good scores so it’s clearly that they must pay attention to every single word teachers say during classes and take note of them.

    LR: 5.5

    You have an okay range of vocabulary relating to the topic

    Some unusual words which are wrongly used in this essay

    You need more specific examples to make your essay more convincing

    You need to use more collocation relating to the topic

    GRA: 5.5

    Quite a few grammatical mistakes are found in the essay

    You still have problem with a/an/the

    Some sentences are dark in meaning
     

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  11. Hoàng ZIM

    Hoàng ZIM Master Staff Member

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    Tham khảo

    Overall: 5.5

    TR: 6.0

    The structure of your essay is well-constructed

    Overall, you have good ideas, but they aren’t well-developed with your supporting sentences

    CC: 5.0

    There are some misused words and phrases:

    If the examiner gives a same written test to students, he can attain the scores of all students simultaneously and have the ground to assess their intelligence

    For example, when a student cannot give an accurate answer, he still achieves some scores of this question parts

    Therefore some of question they are knowing well, but others they are not.

    Secondly, some of question cannot describe by writing, they need to be asked by oral

    LR: 5.0

    You have an okay range of vocabulary relating to the topic

    Some unusual words which are wrongly used in this essay

    You need more specific examples to make your essay more convincing

    You need to use more collocation relating to the topic

    GRA: 5.5

    Quite a few grammatical mistakes are found in the essay

    You still have problem with a/an/the

    Some sentences are dark in meaning
     

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  12. Hoàng ZIM

    Hoàng ZIM Master Staff Member

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    Tham khảo

    Overall: 5.5

    TR: 6.0

    The structure to your essay is well-constructed

    The ideas given are suitable for the topic, however, your fluency needs to be worked on more

    CC: 5.0

    There are some misused words and phrases:

    Examinations were and will ever be the most important thing in our life, especially when we are young.

    They determine whether students are qualified to move to the next grade or to be graduated.

    The first reason I denied it is that the traditional exams do not represent how well our study is.

    Secondly, there are several kinds of intelligence: social intelligence, musical intelligence, physical intelligence, …

    In conclusion, traditional written exams are not suitable for determined intelligence

    LR: 5.0

    You have an okay range of vocabulary relating to the topic

    Some unusual words which are wrongly used in this essay

    You need more specific examples to make your essay more convincing

    You need to use more collocation relating to the topic

    GRA: 5.5

    Quite a few grammatical mistakes are found in the essay

    You still have problem with a/an/the

    Some sentences are dark in meaning
     

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  13. Hoàng ZIM

    Hoàng ZIM Master Staff Member

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    Tham khảo

    Overall: 3.0

    TR: 3.0

    CC: 3.0

    LR: 3.0

    GRA: 3.0
     

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  14. Hoàng ZIM

    Hoàng ZIM Master Staff Member

    Joined:
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    Tham khảo

    Overall: 3.0

    TR: 3.0

    CC: 3.0

    LR: 3.0

    GRA: 3.0
     

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  15. Hoàng ZIM

    Hoàng ZIM Master Staff Member

    Joined:
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    Tham khảo

    Overall: 5.5

    TR: 6.0

    The structure of your essay is well-constructed

    Overall, you have good ideas, but they aren’t well-developed with your supporting sentences

    CC: 5.0

    There are some misused words and phrases:

    This essay will agree that this kind of exams is pragmatic to assess people's IQ.

    It is true that when taking exams, candidates are often worried about a time limit, which written exams can provide them more to present enough their opinions

    Such subjective exams can help students to write adequate aspects of what they are asked, which means that they are able to brainstorm varied ways.

    For example, some international tests, such as IELTS, always requires their candidates to write an essay on social problems to assess them exactly.

    LR: 5.0

    You have an okay range of vocabulary relating to the topic

    Some unusual words which are wrongly used in this essay

    You need more specific examples to make your essay more convincing

    You need to use more collocation relating to the topic

    GRA: 5.5

    Quite a few grammatical mistakes are found in the essay

    You still have problem with a/an/the

    Some sentences are dark in meaning
     

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