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IELTS WRITING CONTEST - WEEK 16

Discussion in 'IELTS WRITING CONTEST - IWC' started by Hoàng ZIM, Nov 6, 2016.

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  1. Hoàng ZIM

    Hoàng ZIM Master Staff Member

    Joined:
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    Messages:
    593
    Likes Received:
    323
    Overall: 5.5

    TR: 6.0

    The structure to your essay is well-constructed

    The ideas given are suitable for the topic, however, your fluency needs to be worked on more

    CC: 5.5

    Personally, I do not agree that the educational system should utilize the written exams as a useful tool to assess learners' skills and knowledge because of some following reasons.

    One of the first reasons is that intelligence can not be quantified by examinations.

    Undoubtedly, there are numerous cases in which students learn as a “learning machine” without understanding, critical thinking or analysis

    Besides that, due to the fact that the time limitation in the formal exam can not cover everything from the books to the real life experiences, standardized tests like written exams do not allow students to invent or create anything.

    LR: 5.0

    You have an okay range of vocabulary relating to the topic

    Some unusual words which are wrongly used in this essay

    You need more specific examples to make your essay more convincing

    You need to use more collocation relating to the topic

    GRA: 5.5

    Quite a few grammatical mistakes are found in the essay

    You still have problem with a/an/the

    Some sentences are dark in meaning
     

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  2. Hoàng ZIM

    Hoàng ZIM Master Staff Member

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2016
    Messages:
    593
    Likes Received:
    323
    Overall: 6.0

    TR: 6.0

    The structure to your essay is well-constructed

    Overall, you have good ideas, but you don’t seem to illustrate them clear enough in your essay

    CC: 6.0

    There are some misused words and phrases:

    Correspondingly, each field requires its own ways of evaluating; therefore, it seems irrational to apply just one method to gauge all kinds of abilities.

    With helps of plugged computers, it creates a paperless environment for examinees to sit for their tests, which is of great convenience for both participants and judges

    Consequently, grades they attain do not reflect all of their abilities, leaving themselves a sense of illusion about their talents.

    LR: 6.0

    You have an okay range of vocabulary relating to the topic

    You need more specific examples to make your essay more convincing

    You need to use more collocation relating to the topic

    GRA: 6.0

    Quite a few grammatical mistakes are found in the essay
     

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  3. Hoàng ZIM

    Hoàng ZIM Master Staff Member

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2016
    Messages:
    593
    Likes Received:
    323
    Overall: 5.0

    TR: 6.0

    The structure to your essay is well-constructed

    The ideas given are suitable for the topic, however, your fluency needs to be worked on more

    CC: 5.0

    There are some misused words and phrases:

    There are tons of ways of examining to find talent people

    This way of examining is fair for because there is no chance for students to cheat in exams

    As a result, people have true talent will be found thoroughly

    Unlike written test, there is high ability in cheating and luckily circling in multi-choice test

    In summerize, although there are many benefits and drawbacks, I still strongly agree with choosing written test to be the most effective way to assess students' ability.

    LR: 5.0

    You have an okay range of vocabulary relating to the topic

    Some unusual words which are wrongly used in this essay

    You need more specific examples to make your essay more convincing

    You need to use more collocation relating to the topic

    GRA: 5.0

    Quite a few grammatical mistakes are found in the essay

    You still have problem with a/an/the

    Some sentences are dark in meaning
     

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  4. Hoàng ZIM

    Hoàng ZIM Master Staff Member

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2016
    Messages:
    593
    Likes Received:
    323
    Overall: 5.5

    TR: 6.0

    The structure of your essay is well-constructed

    Overall, you have good ideas, but they aren’t well-developed with your supporting sentences

    CC: 5.0

    There are some misused words and phrases:

    First and foremost, there is little denying that tests conducted in the written format hold considerable benefits to the evaluation of cognitive competence and ability

    This stems from the fact that written exams necessitates the process of reasoning and proving one ultimate answer, which renders solid academic and mental capability the prerequisite to success

    Whereas, the multiple choice exams might fail to evaluate the candidates' intelligence and understandings since the high scores achieved in those tests are the mere results of aleatory selection, without further analysis of the problems or exercises presented.

    It is hardly irrefutable that written tests lay too much emphasis on the presentation of steps to accomplish the solution of the given problems, which are time-consuming and of little neccessity and use to brighter and perspicacious minds.

    LR: 6.0

    You have an okay range of vocabulary relating to the topic

    You need more specific examples to make your essay more convincing

    You need to use more collocation relating to the topic

    GRA: 5.5

    Some grammatical mistakes are found in the essay
     

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  5. Hoàng ZIM

    Hoàng ZIM Master Staff Member

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2016
    Messages:
    593
    Likes Received:
    323
    Overall: 5.0

    TR: 6.0

    The structure of your essay is well-constructed

    Overall, you have good ideas, but they aren’t well-developed with your supporting sentences

    CC: 5.0

    There are some misused words and phrases:

    In my opinion, it isn't seen as the best quality standard method to define that issue.

    When you attend that exam, you will be able to brainstorming with broaden questions and answer them with your knowledge.

    In addition, you can learn how to perform the answers logically to get the maximum score as high as possible

    For example, the most of Vietnam students who had been applied the traditional tests are very good at writing and solving the problems in all of their works and lives.

    It is argued that the written exams aren't include the whole of the lessons which are learned in schools, it only focuses on the most important understanding

    As the consequence of it, the examines passively think day by day.

    The recent study had proven this fact by an evidence that 50% pupils of a famous school are learning by this way, and most of them has always depended on the direct books, Internet network and teacher instead of thinking and doing by their selves

    LR: 5.0

    You have an okay range of vocabulary relating to the topic

    Some unusual words which are wrongly used in this essay

    You need more specific examples to make your essay more convincing

    You need to use more collocation relating to the topic

    GRA: 5.5

    Quite a few grammatical mistakes are found in the essay

    You still have problem with a/an/the

    Some sentences are dark in meaning
     

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  6. Hoàng ZIM

    Hoàng ZIM Master Staff Member

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2016
    Messages:
    593
    Likes Received:
    323
    OVERALL: 5.5

    TR: 5.0

    Overall, you have good ideas, but they aren’t well-developed with your supporting sentences

    Because you write a one-sided essay, your personal statement should only be one-sided

    You forgot your personal opinion of the aforementioned topic in your conclusion
    CC: 6.0

    Your fluency is good, however,

    There are some misused words and phrases that make some parts of the essay rather odd

    e.g: students' essential ability in the modern world

    Some sentences are confusing so it’s hard for the examiner to make out

    E.G: Modern standards pay rise to social requirement of new formal examination

    LR: 5.5

    You have an okay range of vocabulary relating to the topic, however it should be used more efficiently

    Some unusual words which are wrongly used in this essay

    You need more specific examples to make your essay more convincing

    GRA: 5.5

    Some grammatical mistakes are found in the essay

    Some sentences are dark in meaning

    Try to use more complex sentences to raise your band-score (for the ones who write okay)

    There are still some spelling errors
     

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  7. Hoàng ZIM

    Hoàng ZIM Master Staff Member

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2016
    Messages:
    593
    Likes Received:
    323
    OVERALL: 5.0

    TR: 5.5

    The structure to your essay is well-constructed, however

    Many of your sentences aren’t yet well-illustrated, so several parts of the essay sound confusing

    CC: 5.0

    There are several misused words and phrases

    Some illustrations for your ideas still lack of reasons to support

    Some sentences are confusing so it’s hard for the examiner to make out

    e.g: candidates may may feel that their responses are not anonymous and worry that instructors can trace the feedback to them

    LR: 5.0

    Some unusual words which are wrongly used in this essay

    You need more specific examples to make your essay more convincing

    You need to use more collocation relating to the topic

    GRA: 5.5

    Some grammatical mistakes are found in the essay

    Some sentences are dark in meaning

    e.g: afford much flexibility in terms of the reports that can be generated for instructors and faculty.

    Try to use daily used words, practice simple sentences before jumping to unusual, complex sentences

    There are still some spelling errors

    You should recheck your essay before turning it in to avoid mistakes such as

    e.g: as candidates may may feel that their
     

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  8. Hoàng ZIM

    Hoàng ZIM Master Staff Member

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2016
    Messages:
    593
    Likes Received:
    323
    OVERALL: 6.0

    TR: 6.0

    The structure to your essay is well-constructed

    Overall, you have good ideas, but you don’t seem to illustrate them clear enough in your essay

    CC: 6.5

    Your fluency is good, there are minor mistakes and several misused words and phrases

    Some sentences are confusing so it’s hard for the examiner to make out

    LR: 5.5

    You have an okay range of vocabulary relating to the topic, which is something you need to improve

    Some unusual words which are wrongly used in this essay

    You need more specific examples to make your essay more convincing

    GRA: 5.5

    Some grammatical mistakes are found in the essay

    e.g: the results are exceed expectations.

    the ease with which teachers and admissions can analyze and compare student scores

    Try to use more complex sentences to raise your band-score (for the ones who write okay)
     

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  9. Hoàng ZIM

    Hoàng ZIM Master Staff Member

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2016
    Messages:
    593
    Likes Received:
    323
    OVERALL: 5.5

    TR: 5.5

    The structure to your essay is well-constructed

    Overall, you have good ideas, but they aren’t well-developed with your supporting sentences

    You forgot your personal opinion of the aforementioned topic in your conclusion

    CC: 5.0

    There are a lot of misused words and phrases

    Some illustrations for your ideas are rather redundant

    e.g: Meanwhile, small-sized materials are often brought into test rooms whenever a written exam takes place

    Some sentences are confusing so it’s hard for the examiner to make out

    LR: 5.5

    You have an okay range of vocabulary relating to the topic, however it should be used more efficiently

    Some unusual words which are wrongly used in this essay

    You need more specific examples to make your essay more convincing

    GRA: 5.5

    Some grammatical mistakes are found in the essay

    Some sentences are dark in meaning

    e.g: the examiners merely expect their examinees to keep the answers short and simple as respective tests of these examinees are not taken simultaneously

    Try to use daily used words, practice simple sentences before jumping to unusual, complex sentences

    There are still some spelling errors, you should check before finishing
     

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  10. Hoàng ZIM

    Hoàng ZIM Master Staff Member

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2016
    Messages:
    593
    Likes Received:
    323
    OVERALL: 5.0

    TR: 5.0

    Overall, you have okay ideas, but they aren’t well-developed with your supporting sentences

    You forgot your personal opinion of the aforementioned topic in your conclusion

    Your illustration is confusing at times so the essay is not fluently written
    CC: 5.0

    There are a lot of misused words and phrases

    e.g: Many people consider traditional written exams are the most effective way to evaluate intelligence

    Some sentences are confusing so it’s hard for the examiner to make out

    Some sentences are too long and should be cut down or be divided into 2 sentences

    LR: 5.0

    You have an okay range of vocabulary relating to the topic, however it should be used more efficiently

    Some unusual words which are wrongly used in this essay

    e.g: The initial reason explain why conventional written exams are not triumphant measure is that this type of test cannot indicate other intelligences of a person.

    You need more specific examples to make your essay more convincing

    You need to use more collocation relating to the topic

    GRA: 5.0

    Many grammatical mistakes are found in the essay

    Some sentences are dark in meaning

    Try to use daily used words, practice simple sentences before jumping to unusual, complex sentences
     

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  11. Hoàng ZIM

    Hoàng ZIM Master Staff Member

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2016
    Messages:
    593
    Likes Received:
    323
    OVERALL: 6.5

    TR: 6.5

    The structure to your essay is well-constructed

    The ideas given are suitable for the topic

    Overall, you have good ideas, but they aren’t well-developed with your supporting sentences

    CC: 6.0

    There are some misused words and phrases

    e.g: gauge a student’s intelligence

    Some sentences are confusing so it’s hard for the examiner to make out

    LR: 6.5

    You have a good range of vocabulary relating to the topic, however it should be used more efficiently

    You need more specific examples to make your essay more convincing

    GRA: 7.0

    Your grammar is good

    Some sentences are dark in meaning

    Try to use more complex sentences to raise your band-score (for the ones who write okay)
     

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  12. Hoàng ZIM

    Hoàng ZIM Master Staff Member

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2016
    Messages:
    593
    Likes Received:
    323
    OVERALL: 5.0

    TR: 5.5

    The structure to your essay is well-constructed

    Overall, you have good ideas, but you don’t seem to illustrate them clear enough in your essay

    CC: 5.0

    There are many misused words and phrases

    Some illustrations for your ideas are rather redundant

    Some sentences are confusing so it’s hard for the examiner to make out

    Some sentences are too long and should be cut down or be divided into 2 sentences

    e.g: Computer based test can make people feel uncomfortable and harmful to their eyes, which cause an unexpected result while doing writing test they will be controlled more tightly and the earnest atmosphere is perfect for concentration and stimulating their brains as best as they can.

    LR: 5.0

    You have an okay range of vocabulary relating to the topic, however it should be used more efficiently

    Some unusual words which are wrongly used in this essay

    You need more specific examples to make your essay more convincing

    GRA: 5.0

    Many grammatical mistakes are found in the essay

    e.g: Expressing an idea on their own words help the examiner can measure

    You still have problem with a/an/the

    Try to use daily used words, practice simple sentences before jumping to unusual, complex sentences

    There are still some spelling errors
     

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  13. Hoàng ZIM

    Hoàng ZIM Master Staff Member

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2016
    Messages:
    593
    Likes Received:
    323
    OVERALL: 5.0

    TR: 5.5

    The structure to your essay is well-constructed

    Overall, you have good ideas, but you don’t seem to illustrate them clear enough in your essay

    CC: 5.0

    There are many misused words and phrases

    e.g: While I agree that writing is a good way to show smart

    the combination of the different ways will perform the comprehensive assessment that help people find themselves correctly.

    Some illustrations for your ideas are rather redundant

    Some sentences are confusing so it’s hard for the examiner to make out

    LR: 5.0

    You have an okay range of vocabulary relating to the topic, however it should be used more efficiently

    Some unusual words which are wrongly used in this essay

    You need more specific examples to make your essay more convincing

    GRA: 5.0

    Many grammatical mistakes are found in the essay

    You still have problem with a/an/the

    Try to use daily used words, practice simple sentences before jumping to unusual, complex sentences
     

    Share This Page

  14. Hoàng ZIM

    Hoàng ZIM Master Staff Member

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2016
    Messages:
    593
    Likes Received:
    323
    OVERALL: 5.5

    TR: 5.0

    Overall, you have good ideas, but they aren’t well-developed with your supporting sentences

    You forgot your personal opinion of the aforementioned topic in your conclusion and opening
    CC: 5.5

    There are quite a few misused words and phrases

    Some illustrations for your ideas are rather redundant

    e.g: Persuasion in essays is the result of understanding and logical thinking

    Some sentences are confusing so it’s hard for the examiner to make out

    Some sentences are too long and should be cut down or be divided into 2 sentences

    LR: 5.5

    You have a good range of vocabulary relating to the topic, however it should be used more efficiently

    Some unusual words which are wrongly used in this essay

    You need to use more collocation relating to the topic

    GRA: 5.5

    Several grammatical mistakes are found in the essay

    e.g: Although questions are difficult, intelligent students giving creative and reasonable repsonses would be likely to pass the test.

    Some sentences are dark in meaning

    Try to use daily used words, practice simple sentences before jumping to unusual, complex sentences

    There are still many spelling errors
     

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  15. Hoàng ZIM

    Hoàng ZIM Master Staff Member

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2016
    Messages:
    593
    Likes Received:
    323
    OVERALL: 7.0

    TR: 7.0

    The structure to your essay is well-constructed

    Overall, you have good ideas, but they aren’t well-developed with your supporting sentences

    CC: 7.0

    There are minor misused words and phrases

    Some sentences are too long and should be cut down or be divided into 2 sentences

    LR: 6.5

    You have a good range of vocabulary relating to the topic, however it should be used more efficiently

    You need more specific examples to make your essay more convincing

    GRA: 7.0

    Minor grammatical mistakes are found in the essay
     

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