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IELTS WRITING CONTEST - WEEK 18

Discussion in 'IELTS WRITING CONTEST - IWC' started by IELTS Forum, Nov 27, 2016.

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  1. ngangiang

    ngangiang Master

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    In the non-stop generation of education, it is argued that the knowledge of human should encompass information which is not concern with their development or achievements. In my opinion, I completely agree with this one.

    There's no denying that the importance of general knowledge such as weather phenomenons, political and social problems,... They are the essential theme that will help you to get the higher things on every area. You will able to in deal with the challenges without the need of help when you have enough understanding of daily life. In addition to, if you have the firm comprehension, which indicates that you must have been having a number of experiences, you will have many opportunities of developing your life-work. Just imagine that you will go abroad for your studying or working in the future, you will must stand on your feet, if you have adequately understood, you will easy to be self-made.
    On the contrary, not having general theme and making everything dreadfully because of the lack of understanding , you will be treated with disdain. Of course, your talent which relates to scientific subjects, will be forgotten. For example, a student of economic college that attended to a reality gameshow and she was unable to answer two basic questions. You know, she has been became one of the hottest keywords research up to now.

    In conclusion, although you are very good at all of the subjects in schools or universities, you will not be acknowledged if your principal knowledge is limited. So, you should expand either life's understanding and scientific theme.
     

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  2. Camaroz

    Camaroz Master

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    It is believed that people need to have a wide knowledge from education, even it does not a part of their development or career prospect. Personally, i strongly agree with this point of view.

    To begin with, Knowing everything is not harmful.The society of 21th century bears with continuous changes so people must have a wide knowledge to adopt. For examples, smart devices are changing casual life of all people around the world so people should learn more about how to use them properly. Additionally, Individual knowledge might able to help people around in some incidental occurrences. For instance, a broken car can be fixed by a stranger passing nearby with a knowledge that one could never think about its usefulness.

    I also think that people do not really know how to make use of their knowledge, even in their development or job. People are not usually able to predict their future so they underestimate those knowledge. In other words, they can change their job or field once day. Therefore, lessions from highschool might help people in another job position. Moreover, understanding of a hobby might be a key the future development. For example, Steve Jobs did not think about the computer font before he had entried handwriting class in university then it is a key of world-wide computers currently.

    In conclusion, Understanding irrelevant things is necessary to people, even it does not a part of their development or career prospect.
     

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  3. biendltb

    biendltb Master

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    The world's information is increasing rapidly contributing to enlarge human knowledge. This forces education systems must steadily update to bring all these knowledge to the school. It has formed a belief that people should be equipped all knowledge in different fields. In my opinion, this matter has both positive and negative sides. Analysing the gains and losses of an all-sided-knowledge education system will support this opinion.

    On one hand, having knowledge across different fields will help people easily solve problems from a full view. Since all the phenomenon and events are highly related to others, it requires people must have an adequate understanding in not only one subject to can explain it. For example, to understand how our body work, we need to have knowledge in not only biology but chemistry, physics, etc. Therefore, people always keep extending their knowledge in different subjects outside their professional one to work and living better.

    On the other hand, bringing all the information to school program can put much pressure on student and distract them from their professional field. Students, especially the high school ones, in some countries like Vietnam always are under stress by the heavy school subjects in many fields while focusing on their main subjects for the university exam. This makes them stressful and even do not have enough time for other activities. Thus, there are many drawbacks from carrying all the knowledge to school without filtering.

    In summary, there are some advantages and disadvantages when putting all knowledge on the education system. We should do it under consideration to create an effective education system that can produce good citizens for our society.
     

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  4. anhthumai

    anhthumai Master

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    Owing to the limitless of knowledge, some education systems exert their students to study as much as possible, including Vietnam. In my opinion, it is not a proper strategy by those following reasons; firstly, it may cause wasting time and physical disadvantages of further learning ability and secondly, compelling against students’ wills causes ineffectiveness.

    Noticeably, it is highly imperative to achieve immense knowledge relating to one’s major. Thus, people should utilize their time on expanding crucial knowledge. Instead of spending time on learning irrelevant subjects, people can broaden their learning which practically helps their career’s outlook. Moreover, biologically speaking, it is more convenient to study at young ages due to the fact that there are more neurons remain when people are young. Therefore, it is high-priority to determine which knowledge is more needed.

    Moreover, learning without favor is ineffective. Most of Vietnamese high schools compel their students to study 14 to 15 subjects without concerning about students’ attitudes. As a result, most students sorely learn their disliked subjects for the sake of their scores, and after a short time, those knowledge are easily forgot. Hence, it should be stated as choices that what subjects a person needs to study, not an obligation. For example, in America, at the beginning of a semester, students are allowed to choose subjects they are learning for that semester and noticeably, American education system is seen as one of the most developed systems in the world.

    In conclusion, because of some consequences such as wasting of time and ineffectiveness, I totally disagree on making people believe that they should know everything. Instead of that, it is important to emphasize on raising awareness of what they need for their future.
     

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    Last edited: Nov 28, 2016
  5. hihihaha

    hihihaha Master

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    Education has closed relationship with culture which includes people's common beliefs, thoughts and customs, however, people have the right to select fields they want to explore. In other words, education systems, especially in globalisation nowadays,can hardly put pressure on how much knowledge people should acquire.

    Education systems have constantly made changes to support individuals' development. Recently, there has been a reduction in compulsory knowledge compared with five years ago. Students are now provided with fundamental knowledge in different subjects , therefore they have time to dig further into their interested areas. For example, Literature in Vietnam's education odded out some ancient poems whose messages are obsolete in today's context.

    Strict education systems indirectly help determine students' own career. As students have to study mostly every field at schools, they are able to decide which actually add values to their development. and how to apply certain knowledge in reality. For instance, students study many aspects in Maths but who are interested in designing will focus more on Geometry.

    In addition, people now have positive view on education's providing irrelevant knowledge. A large number of students cite that as an opportunity to develop their mental strength and certain skills. They believe that learning Chemistry or Physics helps improve logical thinking as they have to find links between different factors and solutions to certain problems.

    To sum up, most education systems are becoming more progressive and selective, therefore, people are not forced to know everything including what are inessential and able to concentrate on their major
     

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  6. Phan Nguyen Dieu Hang

    Phan Nguyen Dieu Hang Master

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    Today, knowing everything concluding relevant and inconsistent things to development or career expectation are nearly necessity and crucial, leading to thinking that people should understand the majority of things. I completely agree with this opinion.

    There are multiple reasons why people ought to know everything which consist of inconsistent things. There are no denying that people have done to improve skills and broaden knowledge in many fields, which could be seen from the examples around. For instance,people study subject relate to economic that often know a bit about other aspects. Most those would become outstanding with knowledge comparing with others. Furthermore, the wide understanding also brings high success for those who always try to best to study principal things nearby extra sectors. Therefore, because of the benefits from knowing a lot of things, people should broaden knowledge and skills as much as possible.

    On the other hand, not only are the benefits immediate, they also useful for some circumstances in the future. Opponents of this opinion have their points that this truly waste time to know and study irrelevant things. They suppose that should not know everything about the whole education systems and should pay attention some fields or majors to support the development and profession prospect. Actually, people have a ton of advantages when knowing and studying about the plentiful fields, especial unique things which demand specific talents and skills in some circumstances in the future. For example, people have fluent and excellent speaking English in public that often highly appreciated comparing with other colleagues.

    In conclusion, indeed believe people should know and understand all things in education systems to develop better in several situations
     

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  7. huyenlovesmytam

    huyenlovesmytam Master

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    There is little room for doubt that education has long been of optimal concern with different nations all around the globe. Nevertheless, controversy has arisen as to whether schools had better offer students overall educational experiences, including involved and uninvolved employment prospects or not. From my personal perspective, I absolutely concur with this statement for the following reasons.

    First and foremost, gaining a comprehensive knowledge is attached to several merits. In our competitive job market, there comes a great demand for job seekers who not only have thorough insights but also possess professional skills. As an illustration, should a company find new well-educated workforce, they will undoubtedly have proclivity for taking notice of people owing varied knowledge, fundamental things or even talents namely singing, dancing, etc. Therefore, this broadens their horizons and enables them to walk into the job more easily. Another benefit of knowing everything is that they may be highly respected by people. For instance, on gameshow called “Who wants to be a Millionaire”, a girl ,who is at the age of 24, does not know what El Nino is. And she is widely criticised by netizens on the grounds of this popular phenomenon.

    Add to this, unrelated subjects may be useful for their career in the future. It is a fact that students, nowadays, only put concentration on things that they regarded as major subjects such as Maths, Literature, English, etc and look down on others. They do not imagine the usefulness of them. To illustrate, should you want to become an office worker, you will master your profession as well as a few things from Biology namely not sitting too long, making eyes relaxed,... These basic knowledge seem to be highly suitable for your career due to the positive effects on health.

    In conlusion, our domestic educational system should keep on this way for the above-mentioned reasons. It is my hope that the youth will be the generation which are in possession of vast knowledge and essential skills.

     

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  8. XuanNghi25

    XuanNghi25 Master

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    Education in continents has been improving and gaining access for students to be a well-rounded citizenry. However, some educational systems, Vietnam for instance, the lessons are regularly consisting of unconcern knowledge and do not have efficient to students career prospect. According to this essay, my perspective will be emphasised.

    It is undeniable that education plays a crucial role in developing children prospects. However, curriculum of school is managed by ministry of education so lecturers can not conquer to the circumstance. They just teach their students what are in the schedules and don't apply the lessons to reality, this is the reason why students ask themselves why they have to learn those things and can not attain anything to outweigh their future career. For instance, math, students in grade 8,9 in Vietnam need to demonstrate two triangles if they are resemble or congruent to each other. Educator gives learners bunch of homeworks and force them to fulfil it. Maybe it boosts the pupils to have well reflection for solving problems but this will be futile if they don't interact with realistic practising, schoolteachers are the one who can impact the students to operate and the students may thoroughly taught by it. Futhermore, some young generations haven't decided what is going to be their ambition, schoolteachers teach them plenty of subjects so it create conditionals for children easily choosing type of career that they think they are competent with. In addition, the after generation can be exhosted by the generation these days because they have sustained all of corners of knowledge in studying and learning standards

    To summarize, the curriculum in Vietnam is still having controversial. To my way of thinking, ministry of education should apply the lesson to reality because it is the essential part in learning stage also developing skills in life.
     

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  9. Hoàng ZIM

    Hoàng ZIM Master Staff Member

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    KẾT QUẢ CUỘC THI IWC TUẦN 18

    Danh sách các bạn đạt giải cụ thể như sau:
    • Ann Phan - 6.0 - ZIM C - Giải thưởng 50.000 VNĐ
    • dtnghia2206 - 6.0 - ZIM C - Giải thưởng 50.000 VNĐ
    • meowcun - 6.0 - ZIM C - Giải thưởng 50.000 VNĐ
    • Paul Etton - 6.0 - ZIM C - Giải thưởng 50.000 VNĐ
    Các admin sẽ public nhận xét cho từng bài tham gia đúng quy định trong đợt này, ảnh dưới là kết quả điểm làm bài của các bạn.
    Các bạn trúng thưởng comment số điện thoại vào bên dưới để admin liên hệ gửi phần thưởng nhé.

    KQ - Publish.jpg
     

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    Last edited: Dec 1, 2016
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  10. dtnghia2206

    dtnghia2206 Master

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    Số điện thoại của em là : 01223954018
    Xin chân thành cảm ơn các admin đã tổ chức và chấm bài writing cho bọn em. :D
     

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  11. meowcun

    meowcun Master

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    Sđt của em: 0905182917
    Cảm ơn ad nhiều ạ
     

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  12. Paul Etton

    Paul Etton Master

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    My telephone number is 0967157036
    I really appreciate your effort to establish this helpful competition!
     

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  13. Hoàng ZIM

    Hoàng ZIM Master Staff Member

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    @Ann Phan Em cmt số điện thoại giúp anh để anh trao giải nhé cảm ơn em
     

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  14. Hoàng ZIM

    Hoàng ZIM Master Staff Member

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    OVERALL: 5.5

    TR: 6.0

    The structure to your essay is well-constructed

    Overall, you have good ideas, but they aren’t well-developed with your supporting sentences

    Your sentences need to be more well-illustrated for a higher bandscore

    You forgot your personal opinion of the aforementioned topic in your conclusion

    CC: 5.5

    There are some misused words and phrases

    e.g: The essay will elaborate about this.

    Some illustrations for your ideas still lack of reasons to support

    Some sentences are confusing so it’s hard for the examiner to make out

    LR: 5.5

    You have an okay range of vocabulary relating to the topic, however it should be used more efficiently

    You need to use more collocation relating to the topic

    GRA: 5.5

    Some basic grammatical mistakes are found in the essay

    e.g: learn every subjects

    You still have problem with a/an/the

    Try to use daily used words, practice simple sentences before jumping to unusual, complex sentences
     

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  15. Hoàng ZIM

    Hoàng ZIM Master Staff Member

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    Overall: 6.0

    TR: 6.0

    The structure to your essay is well-constructed

    The ideas given are suitable for the topic, however, your fluency needs to be worked on more

    CC: 6.0

    There are some misused words and phrases:

    What students in these countries learn are almost all about theories not application.

    In addition, while some students have a preferential for jobs concerning arts, teachers impose on them a great deal of academic information and exercises instead of singing, dancing or acting classes which prove that all of their years in schools are pretty useless.
    To sum up, it can be confidently stated that some schools focus too much on the amount of knowledge students learn without considering its uses in the future

    LR: 6.0

    You have an okay range of vocabulary relating to the topic

    You need more specific examples to make your essay more convincing

    You need to use more collocation relating to the topic

    GRA: 6.0

    Few grammatical and spelling mistakes can be found

    Some sentences are too complicated and can lead to confusion
     

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