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IELTS WRITING CONTEST - WEEK 18

Discussion in 'IELTS WRITING CONTEST - IWC' started by Anh Ngữ ZIM, Nov 27, 2016.

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  1. Hoàng ZIM

    Hoàng ZIM Master Staff Member

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    Tham khảo

    OVERALL: 5.5

    TR: 4.5

    Your essay is good, the structure is well-constructed, however, you did not include any of your own opinion in any part of the essay, so you’ll lose scores in task response

    CC: 6.0

    Your fluency is good

    There are some misused words and phrases

    e.g: Literature in Vietnam's education odded out some ancient poems whose messages are obsolete in today's context.

    LR: 6.0

    You have a good range of vocabulary relating to the topic, however it should be used more efficiently

    Some unusual words which are wrongly used in this essay

    GRA: 5.5

    Some grammatical mistakes are found in the essay

    Try to use more complex sentences to raise your band-score (for the ones who write okay)
     

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  2. Hoàng ZIM

    Hoàng ZIM Master Staff Member

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    Tham khảo

    Overall: 5.0

    TR: 6.0

    The structure to your essay is well-constructed

    Overall, you have good ideas, but they aren’t well-developed with your supporting sentences

    CC: 5.0

    There are some misused words and phrases:

    Today, knowing everything concluding relevant and inconsistent things to development or career expectation are nearly necessity and crucial, leading to thinking that people should understand the majority of things

    There are multiple reasons why people ought to know everything which consist of inconsistent things.

    For instance, people study subject relate to economic that often know a bit about other aspects

    Most those would become outstanding with knowledge comparing with others

    They suppose that should not know everything about the whole education systems and should pay attention some fields or majors to support the development and profession prospect

    Actually, people have a ton of advantages when knowing and studying about the plentiful fields, especial unique things which demand specific talents and skills in some circumstances in the future

    LR: 5.0

    You have an okay range of vocabulary relating to the topic

    Some unusual words which are wrongly used in this essay

    You need more specific examples to make your essay more convincing

    You need to use more collocation relating to the topic

    GRA: 5.5

    Quite a few grammatical mistakes are found in the essay

    You still have problem with a/an/the

    Some sentences are dark in meaning
     

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  3. Hoàng ZIM

    Hoàng ZIM Master Staff Member

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    Tham khảo

    OVERALL: 6.0

    TR: 6.0

    The structure to your essay is well-constructed

    Your sentences need to be more well-illustrated for a higher band-score

    It seems as you put more efforts in your introduction than your conclusion

    CC: 6.0

    There are some misused words and phrases

    e.g: And she is widely criticised by netizens on the grounds of this popular phenomenon.


    Some sentences are confusing so it’s hard for the examiner to make out

    LR: 6.0

    You have a good range of vocabulary relating to the topic, however it should be used more efficiently

    Some unusual words which are wrongly used in this essay

    GRA: 5.5

    Several grammatical mistakes are found in the essay

    e..g: will be the generation which are in possession of vast knowledge and essential skills.

    Try to use more complex sentences to raise your band-score (for the ones who write okay)

    There are still some spelling errors
     

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  4. Ann Phan

    Ann Phan Master

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    Tham khảo

  5. Ann Phan

    Ann Phan Master

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    Tham khảo

  6. Traafn Duy

    Traafn Duy Master

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    Tuần 19 ạ, forum không vào được ạ :(

    Either a small town or a big city have always offered certain tempted aspects for people to choose it to be their living place. However, this is still a controversial issue, require people a large amount of time to make up their mind which place is more suitable for them.

    On one hand, a small town has several noticeable characteristics that bring about advantages for people. Initially, living in a small town can help people feel the sense of community. In small towns, people have a tendency of keeping close relationships with others living in the same area, which mean that people may know others well and often support each other. For example, if a house in a small town is broken into, you will see the inhabitants rather than the police looking for the robber. Secondly, a small town offer a friendlier environment to people living there. A small town, with a slight rate of transportation and company, undoubtedly suffer less from pollution. There is a more peaceful atmosphere and fresh air and even no polluted water, making the dwellers healthier.

    On other hand, living in a big city is also taken as priority for many people due to some major reasons. The first one is that living in a city raises opportunities for career prospect. According to US Labour Association, the main reason for the shift in the number of people moving from countrysides to cities is because of the desire for having a job. Another cause attributive to the choice of living in a city is that the infrastructure and service in cities are more modern, fostering the standard of human life. It is obvious that cities possess a higher rate of literal people, an increasing expectancy and so many other means of entertainment.

    Nevertheless, wherever people want to take as their living place, they should take all of their need into consideration. In other words, dwelling in a small town or in a city is all good, the decision lie in people’s preference. For example, if an old person after retirement want to live in a tranquil area, a town is best suited for him/her; on the contrary, a student aiming at gathering experience from a variety of working environment should choose a city to live.

    In conclusion, though this heated issue is still open to the dispute, people should take it easy. The measure of the most importance lies in people themselves with their comprehension of what they really need.
     

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