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IELTS WRITING CONTEST - WEEK 19

Discussion in 'IELTS WRITING CONTEST - IWC' started by Hoàng ZIM, Dec 11, 2016.

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  1. Traafn Duy

    Traafn Duy Master

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    Nowadays, having pets in homes has become prevalent among people all over the world. However, this issue brings not only advantages but also disadvantages, which makes it a heated concern worth being considered.

    On one hand, people possessing pets in homes can gain a host of benefits that could improve their life. Firstly, having pets can foster the sense of responsibility on human. When people take a pet into their house, they have to feed it every day, teach it not to inflict any damages and even clean some bedraggled things caused by the pet. That is the reason why several families give their children pets such as a puppy or a cat on their birthday with the hope that their children will be more mature. Another advantage no less important is that pets help owners reduce the pressure they have to suffer from working. According to US National Psychological Association, over a half of 613 people attending in the survey endorsed the presence of pets in their homes and agreed that pets make their lives easier. Although pets cannot understand what people say, owners can share the difficult things and even some secrets to become more comfortable.

    On the other hand, having pets in homes is also attributive to some complicated problems that people have to deal with. Initially, rasing pets can places undue strain on daily life. Especially, for people who cannot manage the time well, having pets may reverse their schedules because people have to spend more time on the pets. For example, it will take an owner not knowing how to prepare a meal for his/her pet an hour rather than 15 minutes for a thorough owner. Furthermore, pets that living in the same place with owners can carry and spread some diseases. People having allergies to fur of animals even become more vulnerable to other diseases when they have to live with these animals, which may lead to worse feasible consequences. That there are some deaths caused by allergies by animals may be an alarm for people to take this issue into consideration before deciding whether they should have a pet or not.

    In conclusion, from my perspective, the bright side of having pets in homes outweighs the drawbacks of that.
     

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  2. Ann Phan

    Ann Phan Master

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    As people' mental well-being is given foremost consideration, adopting pets appears to be phenomenal. Understandably, one has reasons to believe that pets do good to human in most aspects. However, there remain some unsolved problems relating to pet adoption.

    On the one hand, pets give the feelings of consolation. This is undeniable since most pets are considered human' best friends. They are truly a source of happiness, a place of confidentiality and sometimes an eternal servant. Take dogs as an example, dogs are noted for their loyalty and there are cases when some dogs stayed at their owner' grave until they died. Moreover, people keep pets for other practical purposes. Some are for house-keeping, some are for insect feeding and others are for decoration.

    On the other hand, it takes great time and effort to rear pets. Owners should learn how to be patient as the animals can hardly obey at the very beginning. They also need to care for pets' accommodation, food, drink,.., which requires real love and devotion to the pets. In addition, diseases and allergies are also huge barriers. It is difficult to keep both pets and owners healthy as people might be affected by some of animals' features and vice versa. When mishaps occur, inconveniences are really exhausting and frustrating.

    From what has been discussed above, having pets in our family has both the benefits and downsides. What is worth to be noted is how owners make the best choice for themselves and pets.
     

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  3. anhthumai

    anhthumai Master

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    Ad ơi e làm lạc đề rồi ad xóa post giúp em. Thanks ad
     

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    Last edited: Dec 11, 2016
  4. XuanNghi25

    XuanNghi25 Master

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    Most individuals have pets in their house as a fascinated hobby. Although the disavantages and benefits that raising dosmectic animals equally encounter to household from my point of view. I will emphasise these 2 views in this following essay.

    It is undeniable the fact that owning a pet in house, the host need to spend amount of time to take care and watch out of it. For instance, my best friend's house got a dog in her house, she has to regularly take a shower for it because it will swiftly get stinky and its smell is extremely exhaust to house's atmosphere. Futhermore, some people are allergic to hair of dogs, cats, therefore, they have to move further away from them in order to keep being robust.

    On the other hand, pets also have efficient to owners for many explanations. An owner sometimes do bad attitudes towards to their pet but they will always be faithful with their boss. For example, a dog in US knowed a bomb was going to detonate and it annouced to its owner to escape but unfortunately the dog couldn't run out of death but he saved a human's life. Moreover, dosmetic animals is considered to be a lucky cue to some people, bring them luck and happiness and consistent with their fate for instance.

    In conclusion, in my opinion, the efficencies and drawbacks of raising dosmetic animals are hinge on individuals conditional of health and interested in pets.
     

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  5. sangssss

    sangssss Master

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    These days, there is an increasing number of people choosing to have a pet as a friend in their home. From my point of view, this has both benefits and drawbacks.

    On the one hand, feeding pets at home could correlate with some certain disadvantages. The first disadvantage is for children. Pets in the house are usually some furry animals such as dogs, cats or hamsters, which could give rise to many allergic diseases associated with fur. Therefore, If children expose to these pets with a high intensity, it could result in some diseases like itching, rash and rhinitis. Another negative angel when having pets in the house is contagious animal diseases from parasites. In fact, scientists have demonstrated that those who have a regular close contact with pets have a higher risk of infectious illnesses caused by parasites and worms in pets.

    One the other hand, there are also a number of benefits when having a pet in the house. The first benefit is having a loyal friend beside who never betrays us. Pets as well as our friends, possessing a pet in a home will help us to lessen some diseases like depression, autism or even worse. For example, Many individuals prefer talking to their pets when they are tired, and in fact, it is an inclusive method to reduce sadness and work pressure. Another positive aspect of getting a pet is to help children become more mature. Those who have a pet as friends will learn a lot about responsibility, empathy, caring and sharing from an early life.

    To conclude, although having a pet can lead to some unwanted problems, I still believe that its advantages outweigh its disadvantages.
     

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  6. Belcooo

    Belcooo Master

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    In recent years, the trend of taking care pets in home is more common in modern life. It has raised questions of what is positive points as well as negative aspects of this trend. This essay will elaborate about mentioned questions.
    On the one hand, it would be helpful to mention advantages of having pets in home. First of all, pets are faithful or loyal friends. There are various pieces of news in mass media about dogs or cats saving their owners from dangerous situations. For example, dogs would be able to prevent attackers by bite them or bark loudly or cats could send warning signal when there is fire in kitchen. In addition, the owners would share their feeling or stories about other individuals or work's issues without afraid that their stories affect third parties as well as help to reduce their feeling of stress.
    On the other hand, it would help to discuss about disadvantages of taking care of pets. First and foremost, expense of taking care dogs or cats is a large amount of money. For checking pets' health, monthly fees is approximately thousand of dollars or for feeding them, the owners should spent a large amount of money. Furthermore, when the pets pass away, it would leave a sad feeling in the owners. For instance, my sister cried a lot when her dog, Andy, was gone. I took her about half of year to forget this sad story.
    To sum up, the trend of taking care pets in home is undeniable. There is a need to balance between the cost of having them and good feeling with them for their owners. By that way, the owners would be able to feel more happy in their life.
     

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  7. meomeobn

    meomeobn Master

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    It is true that the number of people who have pets in their homes is growing. While there are benefits to own pets at homes in order to improve their mental and physical health, there are also some drawbacks of costs and possible safety hazards.

    On the one hand, there are a variety of reasons why having pets is beneficial. One reason is that pets can help people improve their health through exercises with their pets. For example, rising a horse, spending time chasing your cat or taking the dog out for long walks through the woods or in parks can also be great forms of exercising. As a result, exercises with pets keep you fit and healthy. Another reason is that pets can help reduce anxiety and stress. Researchers suggest that people tend to show less stress and anxiety when they have pets with them. For instance, watching the aquarium with colorful fish floating can help some patients beat their stress level.

    On the other hand, this trend has some notable drawbacks. The main issue is that veterinary costs of owning pets. In order to have a dog, my best friend needs to buy dog food on a daily basis, go to the vest at least once a year. Furthermore, getting a pet can brings more hazards to people’s life. A large breed of dog, for instance, will require extra attention and training to make sure it is safe around children.

    In conclusion, having pets at homes remain popular throughout the world and it has both benefits and detrimental impacts.
     

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  8. lenhugiakhang

    lenhugiakhang Master

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  9. biendltb

    biendltb Master

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    The increasing in life quality allows people to pay more attention to their mental health. Raising a pet at home is a growing trend in recent years. This essay will analyse the advantages and disadvantages of keeping a pet in the living place.

    On the one hand, the companionship that a pet offers helps people relieve the stress and anxiety from their life. Scientists show that a pet can be a great source of comfort, companionship and motivation for their owners. Thus, pets can be regarded as a special treatment for people facing the stress and mental illness. This shows a great advantage of having pets in our life.

    However, having pets in the living place can cause problems in hygiene and environment. For example, raising pets in apartment blocks where the private outdoor space is quite narrow brings many environmental issues and directly affects to the other neighbours. Therefore, there are many troubles that the owners should consider before making the decision for having a pet.

    The above points of view illustrate that there are many pros and cons of raising a pet at home. Besides the benefits gained for the mental heath, pets also create some issues for our living environment. It is thus recommended that people should seriously contemplate the impacts from having a pet before arriving at a decision.
     

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  10. Hoàng ZIM

    Hoàng ZIM Master Staff Member

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    KẾT QUẢ CUỘC THI IWC TUẦN 19

    Danh sách các bạn đạt giải cụ thể như sau:
    • trangdth2408 - 6.5 - ZIM S - Giải thưởng 100.000 VNĐ
    • phananhphu - 6.5 - ZIM C - Giải thưởng 50.000 VNĐ
    Các admin sẽ public nhận xét cho từng bài tham gia đúng quy định trong đợt này, ảnh dưới là kết quả điểm làm bài của các bạn.
    Các bạn trúng thưởng comment số điện thoại vào bên dưới để admin liên hệ gửi phần thưởng nhé.

    KQ.png
     

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  11. Hoàng ZIM

    Hoàng ZIM Master Staff Member

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    Overall: 4.5

    TR: 4.0

    The essay is under-length ( 214 words), the essay require at least 250 words

    Your ideas are not developed properly and the essay lacks clarity

    CC: 4.5

    There are some misused words and phrases:

    Raising pets is a controversial issue in families and between groups of people

    Pets, especially dogs, may bring about leisure moments to human life when walking a dog in the park on a daily basis

    It is a commonplace that trained dogs make good use to blind people.

    Some illustrations for your ideas still lack of reasons to support

    LR: 5.0

    You have an okay range of vocabulary relating to the topic

    Some unusual words which are wrongly used in this essay

    You need more specific examples to make your essay more convincing

    You need to use more collocation relating to the topic

    GRA: 5.0

    Quite a few grammatical mistakes are found in the essay

    You still have problem with a/an/the
     

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  12. Hoàng ZIM

    Hoàng ZIM Master Staff Member

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    Overall: 5.5

    TR: 5.5

    The essay is a bit over-length (328 words), you shouldn’t write over 320 words for this essay

    The ideas given are suitable for the topic, however, your fluency needs to be worked on more

    CC: 5.0

    There are some misused words and phrases:

    Specifically, pets, especially dogs are so playful that even if you are doing something, you will be swayed to cuddle and play with them, adding more joy and delight to the familial atmosphere

    Furthermore, budget in having a pet is also a vital factor that needs to be taken into account

    Some illustrations for your ideas are rather redundant/ still lack of reasons to support

    LR: 5.5

    You have an okay range of vocabulary relating to the topic

    You need more specific examples to make your essay more convincing

    You need to use more collocation relating to the topic

    GRA: 6.0

    Some grammatical mistakes are found in the essay

    Some sentences are dark in meaning:

    Even if pets are domesticated, we cannot expect them to behave like a real person.

    Sometimes, animals have a temper, especially if they are hurt
     

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  13. Hoàng ZIM

    Hoàng ZIM Master Staff Member

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    OVERALL: 6.0

    TR: 6.0

    The structure to your essay is well-constructed

    Your sentences need to be more well-illustrated for a higher band-score

    You should not include your personal opinion of the aforementioned topic in your conclusion or introduction because it’s not required

    CC: 6.0

    There are some misused words and phrases

    Some illustrations for your ideas still lack of reasons to support

    e.g: Secondly, some kinds of pets can protect people and their families, which contributes to the safety of them?

    LR: 5.5

    You have an okay range of vocabulary relating to the topic, however it should be used more efficiently

    You should choose your words more academic for an argumentative essay

    E.g: Secondly, some kinds of pets

    Some unusual words which are wrongly used in this essay

    You need to use more collocation relating to the topic

    GRA:6.0

    Some grammatical mistakes are found in the essay

    Try to use more complex sentences to raise your band-score (for the ones who write okay)
     

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  14. Hoàng ZIM

    Hoàng ZIM Master Staff Member

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    OVERALL:6.0

    TR: 6.0

    The structure to your essay is well-constructed

    You use a lot of strange unusual vocabulary in here, some aren’t correctly used which can lower your band-score

    Overall, you have good ideas, but they aren’t well-developed with your supporting sentences

    You should not include your personal opinion of the aforementioned topic in your introduction or conclusion because it’s not required

    CC: 6.0

    There are several misused words and phrases

    E.G: possessing a domestic animal effectuates quite a few drawbacks to people lives

    Some illustrations for your ideas are rather redundant/ still lack of reasons to support

    Some sentences are confusing so it’s hard for the examiner to make out

    LR: 6.0

    You have a good range of vocabulary relating to the topic, however it should be used more efficiently

    Some unusual words which are wrongly used in this essay

    You need more specific examples to make your essay more convincing

    GRA: 6.5

    Some grammatical mistakes are found in the essay

    Some sentences are dark in meaning

    e.G: They, albeit friendly to people, are still animals, who cannot fully cognitively understand human businesses.
     

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  15. Hoàng ZIM

    Hoàng ZIM Master Staff Member

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    OVERALL: 6.5

    TR: 6.5

    The structure to your essay is well-constructed

    Overall, you have good ideas, but they aren’t well-developed with your supporting sentences

    CC: 6.5

    You have good fluency

    There are a few misused words and phrases

    e.g: pets become increasingly prevalent, in various households

    LR: 6.5

    You have a good range of vocabulary relating to the topic, however it should be used more efficiently

    Some unusual words which are wrongly used in this essay

    GRA: 6.5

    Your grammar is good

    Try to use more complex sentences to raise your band-score
     

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