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IELTS WRITING CONTEST - WEEK 2

Discussion in 'IELTS WRITING CONTEST - IWC' started by IELTS Forum, Jul 17, 2016.

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  1. td7122004

    td7122004 Master

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    hóng nhâts cái chữa bài thôi :|
     

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  2. td7122004

    td7122004 Master

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    Ông ad k chữa tuần này thật à :( cần nhõn cái đó
     

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  3. Hoàng ZIM

    Hoàng ZIM Master Staff Member

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2016
    Messages:
    595
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    322
    OVERALL: 5.5

    TR: 5.0

    The structure to your essay is well-constructed, however you should develop your ideas in paragraph 1 with more explanation

    You forgot your personal opinion of the aforementioned topic in your opening

    CC: 6.5

    You have good fluency, however you need some supporting sentences for your essay to be more coherent

    LR: 5.0

    You have a good range of vocabulary relating to the topic

    You need more specific examples to make your essay more convincing

    GRA: 6.5

    Your grammar is good

    Try to use more complex sentences to raise your band-score (for the ones who write okay)
     

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  4. Hoàng ZIM

    Hoàng ZIM Master Staff Member

    Joined:
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    Messages:
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    322
    OVERALL: 5.0

    TR:5.0

    The structure to your essay is well-constructed

    The essay isover-length (>320)

    Overall, you have good ideas, but they aren’t well-developed with your supporting sentences

    You forgot your personal view in the conclusion

    CC:5.0

    There are some misused words and phrases

    Some sentences are confusing so it’s hard for the examiner to make out

    LR: 5.5

    You have an adequate range of vocabulary relating to the topic

    You need to use more collocation relating to the topic

    GRA: 5.0

    Your grammar is okay

    Some sentences are dark in meaning(e.g: Finally, outside impacts may make the situation more objective, while alleviating conflicts between countries …)

    Try to use more complex sentences to raise your band-score (for the ones who write okay)
     

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  5. Hoàng ZIM

    Hoàng ZIM Master Staff Member

    Joined:
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    Messages:
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    322
    Overall: 5.0

    TR: 5.0

    Overall, you have good ideas, but you don’t seem to illustrate them clear enough in your essay

    CC: 5.0

    There are a lot of misused words and phrases

    Some sentences are confusing and hard to understand

    LR: 5.5

    You have an adequate range of vocabulary, but you need to understand the words that you are using to utilize them

    You need more specific examples to make your essay more convincing

    You need to use more collocation relating to the topic

    GRA: 5.5

    You have many grammatical mistakes, relating to verbs and linking words

    Some sentences are dark in meaning and do not contribute to the essay
     

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  6. Hoàng ZIM

    Hoàng ZIM Master Staff Member

    Joined:
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    322
    Overall: 5.0

    TR: 5.0

    Overall, you have good ideas, but they aren’t well-developed with your supporting sentences

    CC: 5.0

    There are many misused words and phrases

    Some illustrations for your ideas can be quite awkward and do not relate to the given topic

    Sentences can be quite confusing

    LR: 5.0

    You have an adequate range of vocabulary, but you need a deeper understanding of those words to use them properly

    You need to use more collocation relating to the topic

    GRA: 5.0

    Some grammatical mistakes can still be seen throughout the essay
     

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  7. Hoàng ZIM

    Hoàng ZIM Master Staff Member

    Joined:
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    Messages:
    595
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    322
    Overall: 5.0

    TR: 5.0

    Overall, you have good ideas, but you don’t seem to illustrate them clear enough in your essay

    CC: 5.0

    There are a lot of misused words and phrases

    Some illustrations and examples for your ideas are quite redundant

    Some sentences are confusing and hard to make out

    LR: 5.0

    You have an adequate range of vocabulary relating to the topic, but you need a deeper understanding of the words in order to use them properly

    GRA: 5.0

    Some grammatical mistakes can still be found in the essay, such as verbs and their tenses

    Some sentences are dark in meaning, and do not contribute to the essay
     

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  8. Hoàng ZIM

    Hoàng ZIM Master Staff Member

    Joined:
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    Messages:
    595
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    322
    OVERALL: 4.0

    TR: 3.0

    The structure to your essay is not well-constructed

    Your ideas can not be seen in this essay

    You did not fulfill the requested task in the question

    You forgot your personal opinion of the aforementioned topic in your conclusion and opening

    CC: 4.0

    There are a lot of misused words and phrases

    Some illustrations are redundant, also, you did not address the problem with specific ideas

    Some sentences don’t relate to the given topic

    LR: 4.0

    You have a good/ill range of vocabulary relating to the topic

    Many words are wrongly used in this essay

    You need to use more collocation relating to the topic

    GRA: 4.0

    You still made lots of grammatical mistakes

    Some strange words appear in your sentences for no reason

    Some sentences are dark in meaning

    Try to use daily used words, practice simple sentences before jumping to unusual, complex sentences
     

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  9. Hoàng ZIM

    Hoàng ZIM Master Staff Member

    Joined:
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    Messages:
    595
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    322
    OVERALL: 5.5

    TR: 3.0

    The essay isover-length (>390)

    The ideas given are not well-arranged

    You forgot your personal opinion of the aforementioned topic in your opening

    CC: 5.0

    Some illustrations for your ideas are rather long and redundant

    Some sentences are too long and should be cut down or be divided into 2 sentences


    Some sentences don’t relate to the given topic

    LR: 7.0

    You have a goodrange of vocabulary relating to the topic

    GRA: 6.5

    Your grammar is good

    Try to use daily used words, practice simple sentences before jumping to unusual, complex sentences
     

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  10. Hoàng ZIM

    Hoàng ZIM Master Staff Member

    Joined:
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    Messages:
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    322
    OVERALL: 4.0

    TR: 4.0

    Overall, you have good ideas, but they aren’t well-arranged or developed with your supporting sentences

    You forgot your personal opinion of the aforementioned topic in your conclusion and opening. Please make note that this is highly important

    CC: 4.0

    There are a lot of misused words and phrases

    Some sentences don’t relate to the given topic

    Some sentences are confusing so it’s hard for the examiner to make out

    LR: 5.0

    Many unusual words which are used properly/ wrong in this essay

    You need to use more collocation relating to the topic

    GRA: 4.0

    Your grammar is not sufficiently good

    Some strange words appear in your sentences for no reason

    Some sentences are dark in meaning

    Try to use daily used words, practice simple sentences before jumping to unusual, complex sentences
     

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  11. Hoàng ZIM

    Hoàng ZIM Master Staff Member

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2016
    Messages:
    595
    Likes Received:
    322
    Overall: 5.5

    TR: 5.5

    The structure to your essay is well-constructed

    The essay is over-length, you should cut down on some words

    Overall, you have good ideas, but you don’t seem to illustrate them clear enough in your essay

    Some ideas aren’t well-developed with your supporting sentences

    Your ideas need more explanation

    CC: 5.0

    There are some misused words and phrases

    Some illustrations for your ideas still lack of reasons to support\

    Some sentences are too long, which makes them confusing

    LR: 6.0

    You have a good range of vocabulary relating to the topic

    Some unusual words are wrongly used in this essay

    GRA: 6.0

    Your grammar is good, although some sentences are dark in meaning

    Try to use daily used words, practice simple sentences before jumping to unusual, complex sentences
     

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  12. Hoàng ZIM

    Hoàng ZIM Master Staff Member

    Joined:
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    Messages:
    595
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    322
    Overall: 4.0

    TR: 3.0

    The essay is too over-length ( 393 words)

    The structure to your essay is not well-constructed

    Overall, you have good ideas, but they aren’t well-developed with your supporting sentences

    CC: 4.0

    There are a lot of misused words and phrases

    Some illustrations for your ideas are rather redundant

    LR: 4.0

    You have an ill range of vocabulary which you need to improve over time

    You need to use more collocation relating to the topic

    GRA: 4.5

    Grammatical mistakes can still be found in the essay

    Some sentences are dark in meaning and over-complicated, you should try to write simpler and sentences or some into two separate sentences
     

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  13. Hoàng ZIM

    Hoàng ZIM Master Staff Member

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2016
    Messages:
    595
    Likes Received:
    322
    OVERALL: 5.0

    TR: 4.5

    You should think of more ideas for your essay to be more convincing

    The essay is over-length (>320)

    You forgot your personal opinion of the aforementioned topic in your opening

    CC: 4.0

    Your fluency is good, however

    Some illustrations for your ideas are rather redundant

    Some sentences are too long and should be cut down or be divided into 2 sentences

    LR: 5.0

    You have a good range of vocabulary relating to the topic

    A bit too many specific examples, while this essay still lack of ideas

    GRA: 7.0

    Your grammar is good
     

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  14. Hoàng ZIM

    Hoàng ZIM Master Staff Member

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2016
    Messages:
    595
    Likes Received:
    322
    OVERALL: 4.5

    TR: 5.0

    The ideas given are not suitable for the topic

    Overall, you have your ideas, but they aren’t well-developed with your supporting sentences, also you don’t seem to illustrate them clear enough in your essay

    CC: 4.0

    There are a lot of misused words and phrases

    Some illustrations for your ideas are rather redundant, some sentences don’t relate to the given topic

    Some sentences are confusing so it’s hard for the examiner to make out

    LR: 5.0

    Many unusual words which are used properly/ wrong in this essay

    You need to use more collocation relating to the topic

    Your examples aren’t well-illustrated in body paragraph 2

    GRA: 4.0

    Your grammar still needs to be worked on

    Some sentences are dark in meaning (e.g: Living peacefully and enduringly is a dream of most human all over the world.)

    Try to use daily used words, practice simple sentences before jumping to unusual, complex sentences

    There are still some spelling errors
     

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  15. Hoàng ZIM

    Hoàng ZIM Master Staff Member

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2016
    Messages:
    595
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    322
    Overall: 6.0

    TR: 5.5

    The essay is over-length (324 words)

    Overall, the ideas are well-developed, and your supporting sentences are coherent and well-thought-out

    However, you lack some specific examples to support your writing

    CC: 6.0

    Some words and phrases are not properly used, making the sentences rather confusing and over-complicated

    LR: 6.0

    You have a good range of vocabulary, but some collocation might still be needed to strengthen the essay as a whole

    GRA: 6.0

    Some grammatical mistakes are still presented in the essay, such as the usage of verbs and their tenses
     

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