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IELTS WRITING CONTEST - WEEK 2

Discussion in 'IELTS WRITING CONTEST - IWC' started by IELTS Forum, Jul 17, 2016.

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  1. Hoàng ZIM

    Hoàng ZIM Master Staff Member

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    Messages:
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    OVERALL: 6.0

    TR:6.0

    The ideas given are suitable for the topic, however, you need more illustration on the second idea of each paragraph

    Overall, you have good ideas, they’re quite well-developed with your supporting sentences, however, both ideas need to be explained for your body paragraphs to look more symmetrical

    CC: 5.5

    There are some misused words and phrases

    Some illustrations for your ideas still lack of reasons to support

    Some sentences are too long and should be cut down or be divided into 2 sentences e.g: “On the other hand, powerful countries have always…”

    LR:6.0

    You have a good range of vocabulary relating to the topic

    Many unusual words which are wrongly used in this essay

    You need more specific examples to make your essay more convincing

    GRA: 6.5

    Your grammar is good

    Some sentences are dark in meaning
     

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  2. Hoàng ZIM

    Hoàng ZIM Master Staff Member

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    Overall: 6.0

    TR: 6.0

    Overall, you have good ideas, but they aren’t well-developed with your supporting ideas since some are quite confusingly depicted

    CC: 5.5

    There are a lot of misused words and phrases

    Your ideas are lacking in reasons to support them

    LR: 5.5

    Your vocabulary is adequate, but several words are not used properly in the essay

    GRA: 7.0

    You have good grammar
     

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  3. Hoàng ZIM

    Hoàng ZIM Master Staff Member

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    Overall: 5.5.

    TR: 6.0

    Overall the ideas are well-developed and the supporting sentences are reasonable

    You should be more specific while mentioning your personal opinion

    CC: 5.5

    There are several misused words and phrases

    Few ideas can still be quite redundantly illustrated

    Some sentences are over-complicated and can be quite confusing

    LR: 5.0

    Collocation between words is still needed

    Your range of vocabulary is quite good, but you need to thoroughly understand the words in order to use them more efficiently

    GRA: 5.5

    Some grammatical mistakes are still presented
     

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  4. Hoàng ZIM

    Hoàng ZIM Master Staff Member

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    322
    Overall: 5.5

    TR: 6.0

    Overall, you have good ideas, but you don’t seem to illustrate them clear enough in your essay

    CC: 5.5

    There are a lot of misused words and phrases

    Some sentences are confusing and hard to make out

    LR: 5.0

    You need more specific examples to make your essay more convincing

    You need to use more collocation relating to the topic

    Many unusual words which are not used properlyin this essay

    GRA: 5.5

    Some grammatical mistakes can still be found in the essay
     

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  5. Hoàng ZIM

    Hoàng ZIM Master Staff Member

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    Next time, please write the number of words at the bottom of your essay for us to evaluate your performance easier

    OVERALL: 5.5

    TR: 5.0

    The structure to your essay is well-constructed

    The ideas given are suitable for the topic, however, they aren’t quite clear with your explanation

    You should state your personal opinion of the aforementioned topic in your opening

    CC: 4.5

    Some illustrations for your ideas are rather redundant, some sentences are two long

    Some sentences are confusing so it’s hard for the examiner to make out

    Your essay still has acronyms and some informality: “couldn’t,….”,

    LR: 6.0

    You have a good range of vocabulary relating to the topic

    However, there are still some word use related errors

    GRA: 6.5

    Your grammar is good

    Some sentences are dark in meaning
     

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  6. Hoàng ZIM

    Hoàng ZIM Master Staff Member

    Joined:
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    OVERALL: 4.5

    TR: 5.0

    The structure to your essay is okay, but the ending is rather too long

    The essay is over-length (>320), please note that in the real test, you only have 40 minutes to finish a task 2 writing

    Overall, you have good ideas,but you don’t seem to illustrate them clear enough in your essay

    You forgot your personal opinion of the aforementioned topic in your conclusion

    CC: 4.0

    There are still misused words and phrases

    Some illustrations for your ideas are rather redundant

    Some sentences are confusing so it’s hard for the examiner to make out, e.g: “In conclusion, the world is becoming flat”

    Some sentences are too long and should be cut down or be divided into 2 sentences

    LR: 4.5

    There are still many mistakes with your use of words

    Some unusual words which are used wrong in this essay

    You need to use more collocation relating to the topic

    GRA: 5.0

    You still have problem with structuring your sentence

    Some sentences are dark in meaning

    Try to use daily used words, practice simple sentences before jumping to unusual, complex sentences
     

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  7. Hoàng ZIM

    Hoàng ZIM Master Staff Member

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    322
    Overall: 3.5

    TR: 2.0

    Your essay is not well-structured

    The question given is not addressed in the essay

    Your personal opinion should be stated in both the opening and the conclusion

    CC: 4.0

    There are many misused words and phrases

    Some illustrations are redundant and confusing

    LR: 4.0

    Your vocabulary range is adequate, but you need a deeper understanding of the words used in the essay in order to utilize it

    Words used in the essay are unusual and not used properly in terms of meaning

    GRA: 4.0

    Grammatical mistakes can still be found in the essay

    Some sentences are dark in meaning and over-complicated
     

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  8. Hoàng ZIM

    Hoàng ZIM Master Staff Member

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    322
    Overall: 4.0

    TR: 2.0

    The essay is extremely over-length (541 words)

    You have good ideas, however, you need to condense the ideas and their supporting sentences to meet the length requirement of the essay

    CC: 5.0

    There are still some misused words and phrases, resulting in confusing sentences

    Some illustrations for your ideas can be considered redundant

    LR: 5.0

    You have an adequate range of vocabulary, even though you need a deeper understanding of the words that you have used in order to utilize them

    You need to use more collocation relating to the topic

    GRA: 5.0

    Grammatical mistakes can still be found throughout the essay

    Some sentences are over-complicated and can be quite confusing
     

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  9. Hoàng ZIM

    Hoàng ZIM Master Staff Member

    Joined:
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    Messages:
    595
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    322
    OVERALL: 5.0

    TR: 4.0

    The body paragraphs are a bit too short and the opening and conclusion are too long

    The ideas given are suitable for the topic, however, they are not arranged logically in this essay, also, you don’t seem to illustrate them clear enough

    You forgot your personal opinion of the aforementioned topic in your conclusion and opening

    CC: 4.5

    There are some misused words and phrases

    Some sentences are confusing so it’s hard for the examiner to make out

    Some sentences are too long and should be cut down or be divided into 2 sentences

    LR: 5.0

    Some unusual words which are used wrong in this essay

    You need more specific examples to make your essay more convincing

    GRA: 6.0

    Your grammar is okay

    Some sentences are dark in meaning, some are a bit off-topic

    Try to use more complex sentences to raise your band-score
     

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  10. Hoàng ZIM

    Hoàng ZIM Master Staff Member

    Joined:
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    322
    OVERALL: 4.5

    TR: 4.5

    The structure to your essay is not well-constructed, with two body paragraphs’ lengths not symmetrical

    The essay is over-length (>320)

    Overall, you have good ideas, but they aren’t well-developed with your supporting sentences

    You forgot your personal opinion of the aforementioned topic in your opening and conclusion

    CC: 4.5

    There are a lot of misused words and phrases

    Some sentences are confusing so it’s hard for the examiner to make out

    LR: 5.0

    Many unusual words which are used wrong in this essay

    You need more specific examples to make your essay more convincing

    GRA: 4.5

    Your grammar still needs to be worked on

    Some sentences are dark in meaning

    Try to use daily used words, practice simple sentences before jumping to unusual, complex sentences
     

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  11. Hoàng ZIM

    Hoàng ZIM Master Staff Member

    Joined:
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    Messages:
    595
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    322
    OVERALL: 4.5

    TR: 4.0

    The structure to your essay is not well-constructed as your two body paragraphs are not symmetrical

    The essay is a bit too long

    Your ideas aren’t well-developed with your supporting sentences, also you don’t seem to illustrate them clear enough in your essay

    CC: 4.0

    There are a lot of misused words and phrases

    Some illustrations for your ideas are rather redundant while some still lack of reasons to support

    Some sentences are confusing so it’s hard for the examiner to make out

    Some sentences are too long and should be cut down or be divided into 2 sentences “e.g: More and more contemporary attention has been placed on…”

    LR: 4.5

    You have anadequaterange of vocabulary relating to the topic

    Many unusual words which are used properly/ wrong in this essay

    Some collocation are wrongly used

    GRA: 5.0

    Your grammar is not sufficiently good, which is something you should work on more

    Some sentences are dark in meaning, some aren’t qualified to be a sentence

    Try to use daily used words, practice simple sentences before jumping to unusual, complex sentences
     

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  12. Hoàng ZIM

    Hoàng ZIM Master Staff Member

    Joined:
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    Messages:
    595
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    322
    Overall: 4.5

    TR: 5.0

    The essay is over-length (324 words )

    Overall, you have good ideas, but they aren’t well-developed with your supporting sentences

    CC: 4.0

    There are a lot of misused words and phrases

    Some illustrations for your ideas are rather redundant

    LR: 4.0

    You have an adequate range of vocabulary, but many words are not used properly

    You need to use more collocation relating to the topic

    GRA: 5.0

    Some grammatical mistakes can still be found in the essay
     

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  13. Hoàng ZIM

    Hoàng ZIM Master Staff Member

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2016
    Messages:
    595
    Likes Received:
    322
    Overall: 5.0

    TR: 5.0

    The essay is a bit too long (320 words)

    Overall, you have good ideas, but you don’t seem to illustrate them clear enough in your essay

    CC: 5.0

    There are a lot of misused words and phrases

    Some illustrations for your ideas are rather redundant

    Some sentences are confusing so it’s hard to make out

    LR: 5.0

    You have an adequate range of vocabulary relating to the topic

    But many unusual words which are not used properly, leading to confusing sentences

    GRA: 5.0

    Some grammatical mistakes can still be found throughout the essay

    Some verbs and linking words are not used properly

    Several sentences are too long and over-complicated
     

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  14. Belcooo

    Belcooo Master

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    In recent years, disputed areas among nations all over the world is debatable topic. It has raised questions of whether third nation would be able to participate in to plan solutions or optimized solutions would be built between two countries. This essay will elaborate about mentioned questions.
    On the one hand, it would be helpful to mention positive points when outside forces join to solve these issues. First of all, bigger countries would be able to use brutal forces to declare ownership of disputed territorials. For example, China is interested in to take over Taiwan territory. Army force of United State of America around Taiwan would be balance force between China and Taiwan for many years ago. In addition, some countries would have vital roles in important routes of world's trade. For instance, controversy between Vietnam and China in East Sea would create negative impacts to oil or goods transportation in Asia as well as other countries. Thus, many countries such as America or Australia claim to control stabilization of this area.
    On the other hand, it would help to discuss about advantages of solutions between only two nations. It would facilitate independent of each nations. People in countries would not like outside forces which could affect their nations' decisions. They should request their government to stop to rely on other countries. Furthermore, solutions between two countries could create favor conditions to utilize their economies and both of governments might quickly get win-win solutions for their own countries. For example, solutions between Chinese and Vietnamese governments would increase trading rates many times.
    To sum up, nation's independent is undeniable. There is a need to balance between outside forces and national resources to develop countries' strategy. By that way, we would be able to protect ancestor's properties and save for next generations.
     

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