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IELTS WRITING CONTEST - WEEK 20

Discussion in 'IELTS WRITING CONTEST - IWC' started by IELTS Forum, Dec 18, 2016.

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  1. Phuoc Nhi

    Phuoc Nhi Master

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    While a number of people think that it is needful for school-age people to suit in a competitive learning environment. However, it seems to me that it is more beneficial to be in a classroom in which they can learn the solidarity.

    It is universally accepted that a competitive spirit in studying clearly boosts a students’s performance to a higher level. Firstly, the industrious classmates have a great impact on one’s awareness of being serious with their education since it is a common knowledge that we are inevitably influenced by the people we surround ourselves. Secondly, students tend to exert their best in order not to fall behind their peers, therefore, this is believed to be a contributing factors to individuals’s self-esteem. For example, top shools always draw extraordinary candidates to apply as they desire to be in a appropriate learning environment.

    Despite the benefial merits above, I argue that the coordination skill is what a students are encouraged to enhance. This is because that students should all learn how to coorprate with one another to accomplish a commoon goal which requires a variety of particular tasks regardless of education or future jobs. Besides, teamwork provides opportunities for students to acquire more knowledge or useful skills from their teammates. As a result, they are able to enrich their knowledge which means that they will become more more exceptional.

    In conclusion, though competitive environment is advantageous to stimulate students to rival and progress in their studying, it seems to me that it is better to be a good partner to devote for a common goal.
     

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  2. kingnight153

    kingnight153 Master

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    It is argue that whether schoolchidren should study in the highly competitive environment. While many individuals believe that competing with others would benefit children in many circumstances, I would argue that cooperative environment is better for chidren themselves.

    On the one hand, there are various reasons why teenagers should learn in the competitive classroom. Firstly, thanks to this environment, children could be encouraged to make great strides in their study so as to become the high achievers. As a result, some top classmates would be recognized and given to specialised classes to nurture their academic ability. In my high school, for example, students often take examination during the term to classify those gifted students and give them to the extra classes to take national competitions. Secondly, the competitive environment could expose children to the real world, where they have to compete with others. If, for instance, youngsters are taught to compete, then they will have a wealth of experience and easily find a job in the intensely competitive society.

    On the other hand, I strongly agree with those people who believe that collaborative learning could result in more favourable outcomes. The first reason is that teamwork spirit is of paramount importance for schoolchildren in the classroom context because it allows them to make the most of each member strengths and minimize weaknesses. Consequently, productivity could be promoted and individual student would identify and overcome their own weaknesses. Furthermore, cooperative environment could foster social solidarity, which is vitally important for student future career seeing that each project in a certain company would usually be assigned in group instead of just one member.

    In conclusion, it seems to me that collaboration between students brings more benefits, although competitive environment also stand students in good stead to some extent.
     

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    Last edited: Dec 18, 2016
  3. phuongmisa

    phuongmisa Master

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    It is widely believe that children should training in the competitive environment while other argue that it is better when they doing in the teamwork. In my opinion, i agree with the idea that teamwork would bring more benefits.

    On the one hand, the are several reasons for their supports for student should have to compete in their practical field. Firstly, children do not want to be seen as less intelligent than other, they, therefore, may get high motivation to pass their partnerships. Secondly, when they see someone can get the target while they have same level of education, for example, encouraging them have a consistent hardwork to achieve their potential

    On the other hand, i would side with people who think that the best environment for children is teamwork. In fact, some school separate students in the groups according their academic ability, they believe working in a group may progress faster, which lower level members can benefits from other in the groups. Furthermore, such teamwork help children form their ability to deal with not only their problem but also take care their partners. As a matter of fact, they do not have a sense of loneliness and isolation in groups.

    In conclusion, although several reason for children in competitive environment , I believed that teamwork would be more suitable to form their characteristic.
     

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  4. Kyle Ho

    Kyle Ho Master

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    Many people suggest that children should be put in an competitive environment. From my personal perspective, I argue that corperation amongst them are more crucial.

    On the one side, it is essential to have competitions at schools. To begin with, an amount of competition can be considered as a useful motive for children to study harder. For example, students have to apply themselves in order to acquire as many mathematical problem-solving techniques if they desire to outperform others in an examination for the gifted, thereby improving their competencies. Furthermore, teachers, through such competitions can identify talented students in his/her class. Consequently, they can have special lessons for these with a view to nurturing and furthering their prowess.

    On the other side, an education system which motivates teamwork can have an edge over the former to some extent. The first crystal-clear benefit is to foster interpersonal skills among children, including the ability to co-operate with others. In effect, in a working group, students not only accomplish their allocated task but also assist their teammates so that they can complete the assignment. Therefore, children can acquire how to facilitate their friends, which can be useful for their future careers. In addition, high level of strain in the academic environment is liable to be substantially reduced if pupils work more in a team. Indeed, in a group, in stead of fulfilling the whole task by themselves, members can divide the business into smaller tasks and each individual only specialise in a concrete task. As a result, students less suffer from stress, due to the reduction in workload.

    In conclusion, while it is necessary to have competitions for pupils to better themselves, I argue that teamwork method is more vital and should be more utilised at schools.
     

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    Last edited: Dec 18, 2016
  5. hihihaha

    hihihaha Master

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    A number of people believe that engaging in competitions is essential in educational environment, meanwhile others consider working in a team as a more effective method of studying. In fact, both competitions and teamworking play an important role in creating favorable surroundings and generating good study records. Personally, the combination of the two factors would be optimum.

    To begin with, competing with peers gives students an incentive to perform well. Students are stimulated to put more effort in study when in a race with others. The low-rank will do their best to keep up with fellows while students at high ranks try to maintain their positions. In addition, a fierce competition helps students measure their own competence. It would be easier to recognize one's strengths and weaknesses in comparison with others.Thus, they can adjust their goals and set up appropriate plans to achieve those.

    Teamworking also motivates people to study by offering a lot of opportunities. Good teamplayers always try to complete their tasks and roles on time, therefore, students have a chance to develop their full potentials in order to meet targets and support others. Learning from other members' experiences also increase efficiency and productivity. For example, when a group-work task points out a student's problems, others can suggest various solutions in order to get rid of the current difficulty.

    As discussed above, teamwork and competition are equally vital as they provide a number of advantages which can push students to have a good performance. Selecting positive points from both of them to combine may not only produce desired results but also increase the quality of education in long term.
     

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  6. anhthumai

    anhthumai Master

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    Raising a child is one of the first authority of any countries. Thus, it is important to establish suitable strategies, policies for education and activities for children. However, there are some dilemmas due to different views of parents about how to raise a child like whether children develop well in a competitive or teamwork atmosphere. This following essay will discuss both pros and cons of these two ideas.

    On the one hand, both strategies are advantageous. Working or studying in a competitive environment encourages children to progress. It is because everybody has his self-esteem, children are not happy if they are not as good as others, which motivates them. For example, the Olympia in Vietnam is a quiz competition for high school students. Participating that competition, students force themselves to study harder to win. As a result, knowledge that they gained is significant. Although teamwork is converse to the previous point, it is beneficial also. Teamwork helps children expand their perspectives. Nowadays, every school usually enables its students to work together in order to learn from each other.

    On the other hand, working with competitiveness and teamwork also have drawbacks. Competitiveness can lead to some improper thoughts such as cheating so that students can achieve good results easily. Sometimes, children are too young to aware the essence of competitiveness. In addition, without managing suitably, teamwork can make children too dependent on others. Since teamwork allows students to share their duties, some students may take advantage of that to not to do their jobs. Eventually, they gain nothing but bad habits due to teamwork.

    In conclusion, since competitive and teamwork environment have strengths and weakness, it is important to balance these two methods so that children can be raised properly.
     

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    Last edited: Dec 18, 2016
  7. huyenlovesmytam

    huyenlovesmytam Master

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    It is considered by some that a competitive learning environment is of an absolute essence to the kids whilst there are others who claim that it is better to work with their teammates. From my perspective, they ought to study in both of them.

    On the one hand, being a competitor in a class is a great impetus for you to learn better. You stand a good chance of having a great performance at school. To illustrate, during the lesson, should you see anyone raising their hands and answering teacher’s questions, you may do your utmost to reply more than others, hence putting more concentration on every period. Also, when sitting for an exam, you will exert a great deal of effort to get high scores. Gradually, these constant attempts not only satisfy your demand but also bring about better academic results.

    On the other hand, cooperation is also a crucial skill that you have to aware. Firstly, you gain both profound understanding and essential skills.It goes without saying that what you have learned from your individual experiences is entirely different from your coworkers. Thus, teamwork also maximizes shared knowledge and helps you learn new skills which are of importance to your future career. Secondly, working with teammates makes you more sociable, friendly rather than isolated. Teamwork provides you with an opportunity to meet up with numerous people from different backgrounds, carry out tasks with them so that you can widen your circle of friends.

    Finally, in my opinion, it is fundamental that we should combine the competence spirit with team one to create the best educational environment. Competing with friends stimulates their academic performances but it also leads to conflict among others. Thus, to keep balance. teamwork will shorten the gap between each other.

    In conclusion, it is advisable that children study in both of these environments to succeed in their own learning.
     

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    Last edited: Dec 19, 2016
  8. Le Thi My Linh

    Le Thi My Linh Master

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    There have been calls to research in the environment, which extremely emphasides the role of individual as well as stress the development of self-reliance and creativity, is very necessary. Whereas, others believe that working togetther is far more essential. In my opinion, we should try to select the advantages from both this methods.

    On the one hand, considering the importance of competitive classrooms have in a modern society which has brought a great deal of benefits for childrens. Firstly, it helps students to become more independent. Namely, they will not depend on others and face the real- world challenge of competition. In addition, in the future, the self-reliance peopel will be more consitant and discontinute to try their best to climb the job ladder. That is to say, this method is the same a turning-point which supports them getting succeed in their life more easier.

    On the other hand, there are certain some views to assist teamwork. First and foremost, it can be gainning knowledge. To illustrate this, cooberative classroom will give students variety of knowledge aslo expose to new ideas and ways of thinking which can expand their own standpoints. At the same time, soft-skills is aslo fundamental elements in teamwork. Due to this, working in team might help them cultivate important cooperative social skills that they will need later in ther working lives.

    To conclude, it is true that everything always has two faces so childens should know how to alternative some bad points of this method by good points of that ways which can help them reach the best scores in their studies.
     

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  9. NguyenHoangNam

    NguyenHoangNam Master

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    If someone raise a question about should they take their children into a competitive environment or should they let them co-operate with other teammate to raise their teamwork skill. I would like to say that it would be a great opportunity for children if they become a good teammate at first.

    For clarifying, let’s dive into how good it is if those young generations lived in a competitive medium. As you know, competition, debate and confrontation are all good choice when all children are focusing on how to convince competitors that they can work better than anyone. The issue is those sort of competitive pattern has one primary purpose: to promote each candidates to improve themselves wiser and more mature than ever before. On the other hand, the method to guide children to a sober and stainless competing is not a piece of cake at all. No one knows the answer of the question: such a young kids will overcome and control their individualism or these young kids will be controlled by their own individualism.

    Everything has two sides, so team work has its own benefits. First of all, those kids will comprehend about how to work with each other. Work by their own will never take enormous effective in a short period of time that all over the world, people tend to be effective in a short interval. Everything must be done quickly for short. Furthermore, young generations will experience a good chance to know how to understand their teammates, which is significantly important when someone has to adapt quickly to a new environment.

    In conclusion, I still believe that those young kids just be able to know how to work simultaneously not work harshly in a competitive circumstance.
     

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  10. huyennguyen_95

    huyennguyen_95 New Member

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    These days, when life quality has been increasingly enhanced, education is of many people’s concerns. Some people advocate that competitive studying environment is required whilst others opinion is that children ought to engage in teamwork activities. From my viewpoint, I concur with the former.

    It is indisputable that cooperative skills are inevitable ones which pupils need to study besides academic subjects. Studying in groups of students can probably create a more relaxed and comfortable ambiance as opposed to an orthodox teaching formula which is interactions solely between educators and students. Also, the plain fact is that issues can be tackled faster and more efficiently when sharing works with others. However, a problem which can arise is the students relying on others rather than devoting their own ideas to handle duties.

    On the other hand, I believe that competitive environment can motivate children to a desire to get better studying results. It is peer pressure that can probably spur them on to accomplish their exercises, even strive for exams with flying colors, particularly compared to their classmates as well as their competitors. For instance, in Vietnam and several other Asian countries, pupils often have extra lessons instructed by tutors in addition to school hours in the interests of thorough understanding of what they have learned at school, and what knowledge they have never approached before as well. As a consequence, their achievements can be equal, or even superior to their contemporaries.

    In conclusion, I personally side with the view that competitiveness plays an inescapable role in learning besides other contributing factors like cooperativeness.
     

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  11. Hoàng ZIM

    Hoàng ZIM Master Staff Member

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    KẾT QUẢ CUỘC THI IWC TUẦN 20

    Xin chúc mừng bạn trangdth2408 đã là chủ nhân của giải thưởng ZIM G với số điểm 7.0.
    IWC-20 đã là số cuối cùng của cuộc thi IELTS WRITING CONTEST 2016, cuộc thi sẽ trở lại với các bạn sau tết dương năm 2017.

    Danh sách các bạn đạt giải cụ thể như sau:
    • trangdth2408 - 7.0 - ZIM G - Giải thưởng 200.000 VNĐ
    • meomeobn - 6.5 - ZIM S - Giải thưởng 100.000 VNĐ
    • Ann Phan - 6.0 - ZIM C - Giải thưởng 50.000 VNĐ
    • [B][B]biendltb[/B] [B]- 6.0 - ZIM C - Giải thưởng 50.000 VNĐ[/B][/B]
    • [B][B][B][B][B][B][B][B][B]Paul Etton[/B] [B]- 6.0 - ZIM C - Giải thưởng 50.000 VNĐ[/B][/B][/B][/B][/B][/B][/B][/B][/B]
    • [B][B][B][B][B][B][B][B][B][B][B][B][B][B][B][B]radeon312[/B] [B]- 6.0 - ZIM C - Giải thưởng 50.000 VNĐ[/B][/B][/B][/B][/B][/B][/B][/B][/B][/B][/B][/B][/B][/B][/B][/B]
    Các admin sẽ public nhận xét cho từng bài tham gia đúng quy định trong đợt này, ảnh dưới là kết quả điểm làm bài của các bạn.
    Các bạn trúng thưởng comment số điện thoại vào bên dưới để admin liên hệ gửi phần thưởng nhé.

    Chúc các bạn học tập tốt!

    KQ.png
     

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  12. Hoàng ZIM

    Hoàng ZIM Master Staff Member

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    Overall: 5.5

    TR: 6.0

    The structure of your essay is well-constructed

    Overall, you have good ideas, but they aren’t well-developed with your supporting sentences

    CC: 5.0

    There are some misused words and phrases:

    It is an undeniable fact that Teamwork has become an important buzzword in schools, universities and at offices today

    Personally, I believe that students benefit more from the former variation on the following grounds.
    On the one hand, there are various reasons why people believe that studying with a view to contending for bettler results.

    To prove this, in Korea, it is popular - even common now - to have a private tutor to teach extra pieces of study with paying a lot of money.

    In conclusion,being competitive is considerably important to enhance knowledge, yet the communal life needs cooperative people as well.

    LR: 5.5

    You have an okay range of vocabulary relating to the topic

    Some unusual words which are wrongly used in this essay

    You need more specific examples to make your essay more convincing

    You need to use more collocation relating to the topic

    GRA: 5.5

    Quite a few grammatical mistakes are found in the essay

    You still have problem with a/an/the

    Some sentences are dark in meaning :

    Moreover, they also opine that the lessons learned in childhood lasts for the entire life and the children who always compete would do so for the rest of their lives and this would include both the positive and negative competitions.
     

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  13. Hoàng ZIM

    Hoàng ZIM Master Staff Member

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    OVERALL: 6.0

    TR: 6.5

    The structure to your essay is well-constructed

    Your sentences need to be more well-illustrated for a higher band-score

    CC: 6.0

    There are some misused words and phrases

    e.g: Firstly, a rivalry is a good way to encourage them to try their best in all activities and being a winner in contests can be considered as a prize => e.g: reward to prove their effort.

    Some sentences are confusing so it’s hard for the examiner to make out

    LR: 6.0

    You have a good range of vocabulary relating to the topic, however it should be used more efficiently

    Some unusual words which are wrongly used in this essay

    You need more specific examples to make your essay more convincing

    GRA: 6.0

    Some grammatical mistakes are found in the essay

    E.g: all children have to aware

    Try to use more complex sentences to raise your band-score

    There are still some spelling errors
     

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  14. Hoàng ZIM

    Hoàng ZIM Master Staff Member

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    OVERALL: 5.0

    TR: 6.0

    The structure to your essay is well-constructed

    Your sentences need to be more well-illustrated for a higher band-score. From what is seen, it appears that you need to focus on improving your grammar.

    Overall, you have good ideas, but you don’t seem to illustrate them clear enough in your essay

    CC: 5.0

    There are many misused words and phrases

    e.g: On the one hands, On the other hands

    best results for extra classes to develop their capabilities in order to take them to national competitions

    Some illustrations for your ideas still lack of reasons to support

    Some sentences are confusing so it’s hard for the examiner to make out

    LR: 5.0

    You have an okay range of vocabulary relating to the topic, however it should be used more efficiently

    e.g: Another benefit is that learners not only enlarge their knowledge

    Some unusual words which are wrongly used in this essay

    You need more specific examples to make your essay more convincing

    GRA: 5.0

    Many grammatical mistakes are found in the essay

    You still have problem with a/an/the

    Try to use more complex sentences to raise your band-score
     

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  15. Hoàng ZIM

    Hoàng ZIM Master Staff Member

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    OVERALL: 6.0

    TR: 6.5

    The structure to your essay is well-constructed

    Your sentences need to be more well-illustrated for a higher band-score

    You forgot your personal opinion of the aforementioned topic in your introduction
    CC: 6.0

    There are some misused words and phrases

    e.g: At school, children will meet up with a lot of friends who are different from them in many aspects, consequently being urged to know how to live in harmony with them.

    gives rise to emotional attachment among them.

    Some illustrations for your ideas are rather redundant

    Some sentences are confusing so it’s hard for the examiner to make out

    Some sentences are too long and should be cut down or be divided into 2 sentences

    LR: 5.5

    You have a good range of vocabulary relating to the topic, however it should be used more efficiently

    Some unusual words which are wrongly used in this essay

    GRA: 6.5

    Some grammatical mistakes are found in the essay

    Some sentences are dark in meaning

    Try to use more complex sentences to raise your band-score

    There are still some spelling errors
     

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