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IELTS WRITING CONTEST - WEEK 20

Discussion in 'IELTS WRITING CONTEST - IWC' started by Anh Ngữ ZIM, Dec 18, 2016.

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  1. Hoàng ZIM

    Hoàng ZIM Master Staff Member

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    Tham khảo

    Overall: 5.5

    TR: 6.0

    The structure to your essay is well-constructed

    The ideas given are suitable for the topic, however, your fluency needs to be worked on more

    CC: 5.0

    There are some misused words and phrases:

    Raising a child is one of the first authority of any countries

    Participating that competition, students force themselves to study harder to win

    Teamwork helps children expand their perspectives

    Since teamwork allows students to share their duties, some students may take advantage of that to not to do their jobs

    LR: 5.5

    You have an okay range of vocabulary relating to the topic

    Some unusual words which are wrongly used in this essay

    You need more specific examples to make your essay more convincing

    You need to use more collocation relating to the topic

    GRA: 6.0

    There are few grammatical mistakes

    Sentences can be a bit too long and confusing
     

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  2. Hoàng ZIM

    Hoàng ZIM Master Staff Member

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    Tham khảo

    Overall: 5.5

    TR: 6.0

    The structure to your essay is well-constructed

    The ideas given are suitable for the topic, however, your fluency needs to be worked on more

    CC: 5.5

    There are some misused words and phrases:

    It is considered by some that a competitive learning environment is of an absolute essence to the kids whilst there are others who claim that it is better to work with their teammates

    On the other hand, cooperation is also a crucial skill that people and especially all children have to aware.

    Teamwork provides you with an opportunity to meet up with numerous people from different backgrounds, carry out tasks with them so that you can widen your circle of friends.

    LR: 5.0

    You have an okay range of vocabulary relating to the topic

    Some unusual words which are wrongly used in this essay

    You need more specific examples to make your essay more convincing

    You need to use more collocation relating to the topic

    GRA: 5.5

    Very few grammatical mistakes can be found in the essay

    Some sentences are dark in meaning:

    As an illustration, during the lesson, should you see anyone raising their hands and answering teacher’s questions, you may do your utmost to reply more than others, hence putting more concentration on every period.
     

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  3. Hoàng ZIM

    Hoàng ZIM Master Staff Member

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    Tham khảo

    OVERALL: 4.5

    TR: 5.0

    The structure to your essay is well-constructed, however, there isn’t much coherence in your sentences

    Overall, you have good ideas, but they aren’t well-developed with your supporting sentences

    CC: 4.5

    There are a lot of misused words and phrases

    e.g: climb the job ladder

    Some illustrations for your ideas still lack of reasons to support

    Some illustrations are redundant

    e.g: There have been calls to research in the environment, which extremely emphasides the role of individual as well as stress the development of self-reliance and creativity, is very necessary

    Some sentences are confusing so it’s hard for the examiner to make out

    LR: 4.5

    Vocabulary relating to the topic needs to be sharpened

    Many unusual words which are wrongly used in this essay

    You need more specific examples to make your essay more convincing

    You need to use more collocation relating to the topic

    GRA: 4.5

    Lots of grammatical mistakes are found in the essay

    e.g: there are certain some views to assist teamwork

    You still have problem with a/an/the

    Some sentences are dark in meaning

    Try to use daily used words, practice simple sentences before jumping to unusual, complex sentences

    There are still many spelling errors, you should recheck the essay when finishing
     

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  4. Hoàng ZIM

    Hoàng ZIM Master Staff Member

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    Tham khảo

    OVERALL: 5.0

    TR: 5.5

    The structure to your essay is well-constructed

    You have a lack of understanding when using new vocabulary. Your sentences need to be more well-illustrated for a higher band-score

    Overall, you have good ideas, but they aren’t well-developed with your supporting sentences

    CC: 5.0

    You need to work on your fluency

    There are a lot of misused words and phrases

    e.g: For clarifying, let’s dive into how good it is if those young generations lived in a competitive medium.

    Some sentences don’t relate to the given topic

    Some sentences are confusing so it’s hard for the examiner to make out

    e.g: No one knows the answer of the question: such a young kids will overcome and control their individualism or these young kids will be controlled by their own individualism.
    LR: 5.0

    You have a range of vocabulary, however it is not used efficiently

    e.g: If someone raise a question about should they take their children into a competitive environment or should they let them co-operate with other teammate to raise their teamwork skill => This is not a properly developed sentence

    Many unusual words which are wrongly used in this essay

    You need to use more collocation relating to the topic

    GRA: 5.0

    Lots of grammatical mistakes are found in the essay

    Some sentences are dark in meaning

    Try to use daily used words, practice simple sentences before jumping to unusual, complex sentences
     

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  5. Paul Etton

    Paul Etton Master

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    THANKS FOR THIS COMPETITION. my telephone number is 01662386733
     

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  6. radeon312

    radeon312 Master

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    Thank you for creating such wonderful opportunity for us. My phone number is 0934130602
     

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  7. meowcun

    meowcun Master

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    Cảm ơn ad ạ. Sđt em: 0905182917.
    Btw, vì sao em được nhận giải mà trên file công bố lại để bạn beobeobn gì đó đc 2 giải mà ko phải tên em ạ?
     

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  8. Hoàng ZIM

    Hoàng ZIM Master Staff Member

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    ad nhầm đó là em đó :D hì sorry em nhaa
     

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  9. biendltb

    biendltb Master

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    Thanks a lot for your time and effort. My phone number is: 0978722687

    Merry X-mas and happy new year :)
     

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  10. Ann Phan

    Ann Phan Master

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    Tham khảo

  11. trangdth2408

    trangdth2408 New Member

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    Tham khảo

    Chào ad,
    điện thoại của em ạ: 01654398182
    cho em hỏi, em ở hồ chí minh thì có nhận trực tiếp được ko ạ?
     

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