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IELTS WRITING CONTEST - WEEK 3

Discussion in 'IELTS WRITING CONTEST - IWC' started by Hoàng ZIM, Jul 24, 2016.

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  1. Lily2402

    Lily2402 New Member

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    Ad ơi mình cũng được 6.0 mà k đc à :(
     

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    Last edited: Aug 7, 2016
  2. td7122004

    td7122004 Master

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  3. Hoàng ZIM

    Hoàng ZIM Master Staff Member

    Joined:
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    Messages:
    595
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    OVERALL: 6.0

    TR: 6.5

    The structure to your essay is well-constructed, however, the essay is over-length (>320)

    Overall, you have good ideas

    CC: 5.5

    There are some misused words and phrases, which make some parts of your essay rather awkward

    Some illustrations for your ideas are rather redundant, keep them neat and more precise

    Some sentences are too long and should be cut down or be divided into 2 sentences

    LR: 5.5

    Some unusual words which are not used properly in this essay

    You need more specific examples to make your essay more convincing

    GRA: 6.0

    Your grammar is okay

    Try to use daily used words, practice simple sentences before jumping to unusual, complex sentences
     

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  4. Hoàng ZIM

    Hoàng ZIM Master Staff Member

    Joined:
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    OVERALL: 5.5

    TR: 5.0

    The structure to your essay is well-constructed

    The essay is too over-length (>320)

    Overall, you have good ideas, but your explanation is rather long and unnecessary. You need to select the most important ways to support your ideas as a means to shorten your essay.

    CC: 5.0

    There are some misused words and phrases

    Some illustrations for your ideas are rather redundant

    Some explanation can be a bit too childlike, therefore not suitable for an argumentative essay

    Some sentences can be joint together

    LR: 6.0

    You have a good range of vocabulary relating to the topic

    A more precise way to illustrate your ideas is recommended

    GRA: 5.5

    Your grammar is good

    Try to use more complex sentences to raise your band-score

    Some weird words are used out of context
     

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  5. Hoàng ZIM

    Hoàng ZIM Master Staff Member

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    Overall: 4.5

    TR: 5.0

    Overall, you have good ideas, but they aren’t well-developed with your supporting sentences

    Some ideas need more support and explanation

    CC: 4.5

    There are a lot of misused words and phrases

    Some illustrations for your ideas are rather redundant and confusing

    LR: 4.0

    You have an adequate vocabulary relating to the topic, but you need to understand the words used in order to utilize them better

    You need to use more collocation relating to the topic

    GRA: 4.5

    Grammatical mistakes can still be found in the essay

    Some sentences are dark in meaning and some are over-complicated
     

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  6. Hoàng ZIM

    Hoàng ZIM Master Staff Member

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    322
    OVERALL: 5.0

    TR: 6.0

    The ideas given are suitable for the topic, however they aren’t well-developed with your supporting sentences

    You forgot your personal opinion of the aforementioned topic in your conclusion

    CC: 4.5

    There are many misused words and phrases

    Some illustrations for your ideas are rather redundant

    Some sentences don’t relate to the given topic e.g: Finally, this prolem can be solved partly by education.”

    Some sentences are confusing so it’s hard for the examiner to make out

    LR: 5.0

    Many unusual words which are wrongly used in this essay

    You need more specific examples to make your essay more convincing

    You need to use more collocation relating to the topic

    GRA: 5.0

    Some sentences are dark in meaning

    Try to use daily used words, practice simple sentences before jumping to unusual, complex sentences

    There are still some spelling errors e.g: “coutries”. Make sure you recheck your essay before handing it in
     

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  7. Hoàng ZIM

    Hoàng ZIM Master Staff Member

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    Overall:5.0

    TR: 4.0

    The essay is overlength ( 348 words)

    Overall, you have good ideas, but you don’t seem to illustrate them clear enough in your essay

    Some ideas are not suitable for the essay

    CC: 5.5

    There are a lot of misused words and phrases

    Some illustrations for your ideas are rather redundant

    Some sentences are confusing and too long

    LR: 5.5

    You have an adequate range of vocabulary relating to the topic but you need to understand them better in order to utilize them

    You need more specific examples to make your essay more convincing

    You need to use more collocation relating to the topic

    GRA : 5.0

    Grammatical mistakes can still be found throughout the essay

    There are some spelling errors
     

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  8. Hoàng ZIM

    Hoàng ZIM Master Staff Member

    Joined:
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    Messages:
    595
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    322
    OVERALL: 3.0

    TR: 3.0

    You haven’t finished your essay

    The essay is under -length (>320)

    Your ideas aren’t well-developed with your supporting sentences

    You did not fulfill the requested task in the question

    You forgot your personal opinion of the aforementioned topic in your opening

    CC: 3.0

    There are a lot of misused words and phrases

    Some illustrations for your ideas still lack of reasons to support

    Some sentences don’t relate to the given topic

    Some sentences are confusing so it’s hard for the examiner to make out

    LR: 3.5

    Many unusual words which are wrongly used in this essay

    You need to use more collocation relating to the topic

    GRA: 3.0

    Your grammar is not sufficiently good

    You still have problem with a/an/the

    Some sentences are dark in meaning, some aren’t qualified to be a sentence

    Try to use daily used words, practice simple sentences before jumping to unusual, complex sentences
     

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  9. Hoàng ZIM

    Hoàng ZIM Master Staff Member

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    OVERALL: 4.0

    TR: 3.5

    The essay asks for effects-solutions, not causes-solutions

    The structure to your essay is well-constructed

    The ideas given are suitable for the topic, but they aren’t well-developed with your supporting sentences

    You should not include your personal situation in this type of essay

    CC: 4.0

    There are a few misused words and phrases

    Some illustrations for your ideas still lack of reasons to support

    Some sentences are confusing so it’s hard for the examiner to make out

    Some sentences are too long and should be cut down or be divided into 2 sentences

    LR: 4.0

    Some word use mistakes in this essay

    You need to explain your idea clearer, and make use of your example

    You need to use more collocation relating to the topic

    GRA: 5.0

    You still have problem with a/an/the

    Some sentences are dark in meaning

    There are still some slight grammatical errors
     

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  10. Hoàng ZIM

    Hoàng ZIM Master Staff Member

    Joined:
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    322
    Overall: 5.0

    TR: 4.0

    The essay is a bit over-length ( 339 words)

    Overall, you have good ideas, but you don’t seem to illustrate them clear enough in your essay

    CC: 5.5

    There are a lot of misused words and phrases

    Some illustrations for your ideas are rather redundant

    Some sentences are confusing and hard to make out

    LR: 5.5

    Your vocabulary relating to the topic is quite good, but you need to use them properly

    You need to use more collocation relating to the topic

    GRA: 5.0

    Grammatical mistakes can be found in the essay

    Sentences can sometime be dark in terms of meaning
     

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  11. Hoàng ZIM

    Hoàng ZIM Master Staff Member

    Joined:
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    OVERALL: 7.0

    TR: 7.5

    The structure to your essay is well-constructed

    Overall, you have good ideas

    CC: 6.5

    There are a few misused words and phrases, so some parts can be a bit awkward, other than that, you did great

    Some sentences are too long and should be cut down or be divided into 2 sentences e.g “Furthermore, worldwide connections give citizens access to updating sources of information…”


    LR: 6.5

    You have a good range of vocabulary relating to the topic

    You need more specific examples to make your essay more convincing (name of a country, situation,….)

    GRA: 7.0

    Your grammar is good

    Try to use more complex sentences to raise your band-score
     

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  12. Hoàng ZIM

    Hoàng ZIM Master Staff Member

    Joined:
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    322
    Overall: 5.5

    TR: 5.0

    The essay is slightly under-length (246 words), the essay require at least 250 words

    Overall, you have good ideas, but you don’t seem to illustrate them clear enough in your essay

    CC:5.5

    There are a lot of misused words and phrases

    Some illustrations for your ideas still lack in reasons to support

    LR:5.5

    You have an adequate range of vocabulary relating to the given topic, however you need a deeper understanding of the words in order to utilize the words properly

    You need to use more collocation relating to the topic

    GRA: 6.0

    Some grammatical mistakes can still be found in the essay

    Sentences are sometimes over-complicated and can be quite confusing
     

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  13. Hoàng ZIM

    Hoàng ZIM Master Staff Member

    Joined:
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    Messages:
    595
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    322
    Overall: 5.5

    TR: 5.0

    The essay is well-structured and you have fulfilled the requirement of the essay

    Overall, you have good ideas, but you don’t seem to illustrate them clear enough in your essay

    CC: 6.0

    There are some misused words and phrases

    Some illustrations for your ideas can still be a bit redundant

    LR: 5.5

    Your vocabulary relating to the topic is adequate but deeper understanding of the words used is needed in order to utilize your vocabulary

    You need more specific examples to make your essay more convincing

    You need to use more collocation relating to the topic

    GRA: 5.5

    Some grammatical mistakes can still be found
     

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  14. Hoàng ZIM

    Hoàng ZIM Master Staff Member

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2016
    Messages:
    595
    Likes Received:
    322
    OVERALL: 6.0

    TR: 6.0

    The structure to your essay is well-constructed

    The essay is over-length (>320)

    The ideas given are suitable for the topic

    You forgot your personal opinion of the aforementioned topic in your opening

    CC: 6.5

    Some words are not suitable to put in the sentences’ context

    Some sentences are too long and should be cut down or be divided into 2 sentences

    LR: 6.0

    You have a good range of vocabulary relating to the topic

    A few words are misused in this essay

    GRA: 6.5

    Your grammar is good

    Try to use more complex sentences to raise your band-score
     

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  15. Hoàng ZIM

    Hoàng ZIM Master Staff Member

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2016
    Messages:
    595
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    322
    Overall: 4.0

    TR: 3.5

    The essay is heavily over-length ( 409 words )

    Overall, you have good ideas, but they aren’t well-developed with your supporting sentences

    You forgot your personal opinion of the aforementioned topic in either the conclusion and the opening

    CC: 4.0

    There are a lot of misused words and phrases

    Some sentences are too long and confusing so it’s hard for the examiner to make out

    Some illustrations for your ideas are redundant

    LR: 4.0

    Your range of vocabulary relating to the topic is adequate, but you need to understand the words that you used better in order to utilize them

    You need more specific examples to make your essay more convincing

    You need to use more collocation relating to the topic

    GRA: 4.0

    Grammatical mistakes can still be found in the essay

    Some sentences are dark in meaning and over-complicated, try not to put too much information in to one sentence

    There are some spelling errors
     

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